Sunday, 6 May 2007

The Predator

Some target from the sky, some hunt the ground
relentlesley killing their hopeless prey
So savage, ending lives without a sound,
A predator does not intend to play.
at

3 comments:

  1. englishguru6 May 2007 at 15:11

    Lines 3 and 4 are perfect iambic pentameters. Well done!

    Line 1 WOULD be a perfect iambic pentameter - if you got ride of the word "on" (as this is a superfluous syllable).

    It is Line 2 which is causing you trouble:
    1. It is only 9 syllables
    2. The stresses mostly fall on awkward syllables.

    But you've still scored almost 75% on the iamb front - so well done! No mean feat! :)

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  2. carlsberger7 May 2007 at 00:49

    ill try to get it spot on throughout the week sir

    thanks!

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  3. TeleTubbiez10 May 2007 at 06:19

    OOOOOOO I'm loving this one :-)

    ReplyDelete