Colourful world is all part of me
Succeeding high, like a flying dove.
Beautiful places I'd love to see
New things like most bling is what I love.
COLourFUL world IS all PART of ME
SUCceeDING high, LIKE a FLYing DOVE.
BEAUtiFUL PLAces I'd LOVE to SEE
NEW things LIKE most BLING is WHAT I LOVE.
You're getting there... :)
ReplyDeleteLine 1: This pretty much fits a trochaic meter. :)
Line 2: The second half of this line is PERFECT (LIKE a FLYing DOVE); however, we do not stress the first and third syllable of the word SUCCEEDING, but the SECOND one - so this line effectively begins with two IAMBS, doesn't it? Do you see what I mean?
Line 3: The problem here is the word PLACES. Your first word begins the trochaic rhythm absolutely fine. And your last four words are fine too. But the word PLACES is, as you have shown, stressed on the FIRST syllable - and this breaks the trochees: you've got two unstressed syllables side by side, which breaks the rhythm.
Line 4: This works fine trochaically - although it should say ARE instead of IS...
You are getting really close here. Well done!