Thursday, 29 November 2007

Rafta Rafta haiku's

Atul
Boy not yet a man
Cannot give my wife the gift
I’m incompetent

Eeshwar

Respect is my right
Dilute worries with strong drink
Will not be beaten


Lopa
Can’t escape my past
Eeshwar is my husband now
Trying to move on

Jai

I’ll never have her
Forced to love her from afar
She wants atul why?

Vina
My husband, my love
Wish I could get through to him
He just won’t listen

Laxman

I’m so proud of her
She’s still my little daughter
Oh I’m so lonely

Lata
he just cares for her
The love between us is lost
Where did things go wrong

2 comments:

  1. Syllable perfect and demonstrating an adept grasp of the 'theme change' between lines 2 and 3 too. Well done, scarlet-kyuubi!

    I especially like Lopa: it is fluent and without the jumpiness that dogs some of your others; it rises perfectly to the haiku challenge; and it reads so empathetically it could almost be Lopa speaking herself. Well done.

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