Atul
Six weeks on, no luck
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
All she does is laugh
Vina
Behind those brown eyes
I see a man who’s afraid,
How do I help him?
Eeshwar
Father against son
He may have youth on his side
But I have my snakes
Lopa
Fed up with my life
Dreaming of what could have been
If I chose the other
Laxman
She’s my little girl
She’s gone but not forgotten
Wife is the reverse
Lata
What have I done wrong?
An issue. She turns to him
Why not her mother?
Jai
Lovebirds in a cage
I could set you free, with me
You've pretty much mastered the syllables - although Lopa and Jai both end with a 6-syllable line (be careful).
ReplyDeleteAs for the haikus themselves, I'm struck by how fluent most of them are. Lots of other people's haikus end up quite stilted and jumpy in order to fit the syllables, but, for example, in Atul and in Vina, your haikus flow smoothly from start to finish, and this is no small feat.
I especially liked Eeshwar, because this one managed to encapsulate everything about that character, including some of his comic pride. Well done!