Atul:
Interrogated
Sense of desparation
Struggling to fight through
Eeshwar:
So misunderstood
My son is my enemy
Pining for whisky
Lopa:
Filled with anguish
A traditional husband
The wall between them
Jai:
She claims to love him?
I could satisfy her more
Unfaithful brother
Vina:
Yearning for Atul
His cold indecisiveness
Does he still love me?
Laxman:
My darling daughter
Keep confiding in me
Don't get influenced
Lata:
Where is my darling?
In the heart of my husband?
Come back to mother
You've managed the tricky 5-7-5 haiku structure almost everywhere - apart from Atul Line 2, Lopa Line 1 and Laxman Line 2.
ReplyDeleteYou also often manage the 'theme change' really well - and this is especially effective in Lata, Atul and Vina. In fact, Lata (and Vina) are particularly strong overall; and I love the last line: "Come back to mother". Brilliant.
hiya b, lyk yur stuff lol very well thought out
ReplyDeleteloool fnkoooo
ReplyDelete