The End

Part 1-A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary For Lovers

I found this extract quite funny. I liked the way Xiaolu Guo has written this piece. Hi style of writing is quite amusing and makes you want to read more. I think the way Xiaolu Guo has added spelling mistakes really gives us the feeling that the character does not know English. I also liked the way how he has taken a perfectly normal situation and turned it into something funny. This extract was fun to read.


The End...

I stared at the man who would snatch my life away from me. The man who thought he had the right to go against god and do as he pleased. The very creature who also killed my friend 5 minutes ago. He smiled a vile, crooked smile. “Where is the box?” he asked. He had asked this very same question before he killed my friend. I hesitated then answered, “I will never tell a filthy scum like you! Never do you hear me? I’d rather die!” My voice came out in a mumbled scream. The man laughed and then spoke again, “Oh come on sweet pea. It would be such a waste to kill a beautiful little thing like you. Go on tell me where the box is.” I stared at him with blatant disgust. How could he say such a thing?

My silence got the better of him. “Just tell me where the damn box is or I’ll shoot!” he shouted. I kept quiet. The other men had huge grins glued to their faces. I suppose it was because I was going to die and they sensed my fear. Fear was the key to keeping them happy, that and whatever else they wanted. My mind was in two places, indecision. I could tell them where the box was and live or I could not tell them and definitely die. If I did tell them where it was, innocent people would die. Die because of me.

I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I will not tell you. I will never tell you. I am the only surviving person who knows where it is, and if you do not kill me I will,” I said slowly and clearly. The time ticked on, and then he finally answered coldly, “Fine.” With that, he drew out his gun. I guessed that if he was not going to get what he wanted, then he would kill me himself out of pure anger. I closed my eyes once again. The last thing I heard was the bullet pierce through my heart. I saw my vision blur then turn black. I felt myself leaving my body, felt the pain from each bullet. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Then I knew I was dead. This was the end.

Letters

Part 1-Knots and Crosses:

I liked this extract because it made me want to know what happened next and kept me interested all the way through. I also liked the way Rankin has used a conversation all the way through but still kept that edge of mystery. I really wanted to find out what the letter meant while I was reading. The use of the conversation makes this extract a little more realistic to me. Rankin also gives the impression that we are with the character trying to solve the mystery as if it was our very own. I think this is very effective. I really enjoyed this extract.

Part 2-Letters:

Charlie walked in angry and annoyed, his face as red as a tomato.
“Have you seen this Joe? Do you know what this is?” he fumed.
“No Charlie...Why?”
“It’s another flaming letter, that’s what it is! The fourth this week!”
“Oh.” Joe sighed. “Well maybe it’s just a bunch of immature teenagers playing a joke. You shouldn’t pay any attention to them.”
“Doesn’t mean I won’t,” Charlie mumbled.
“It’s just a stupid prank Charlie”
“How on Earth do you know that? Are you the one who’s been sending me these letters?”
“I would never do that to you.”
“Oh wouldn’t you?” Charlie accused. His face was set into his ‘deep in thought’ expression. Then he sighed.
“I know you would never do that. It’s just...well...you know how I get and lately...I’m sorry for accusing you Joe.”
“It’s ok your just worried. You’ve got a lot on your mind what with your daughter’s sudden leaving.”
“Please don’t...”
“No Charlie you need to get it of your chest. It is unhealthy to keep things like this locked up, life threatening.”
“I SAID LEAVE IT JOE. OK?”
Before Joe could reply, Charlie stormed out taking the letters with him. On his way out, he kicked the fire extinguisher and moaned. Charlie winced at the pain. What was a 56-year-old man doing kicking fire extinguishers anyway?
“You're going to get yourself into trouble Charlie, bad trouble. Please just listen to me!” Joe shouted after him. His voice pleading and urgent still had no affect on Charlie.
Charlie stopped in the hallway several floors down and opened the letters. He read every word carefully searching for what they meant. Each envelope covered in coffee stains. “Coffee stains,” Charlie said to himself. “Could it be? What if she didn’t leave and she was kidnapped?” Charlie had stopped breathing. Then he read something on the most recent letter that startled him. The answers were in the letters, he just had to find them.

Disneyland Parade

Part 1- The Worst Journey in the World by Apsley Cherry-Gerrard (1922)

I chose this extract because it not only made me want to read on but also kept me interested whilst reading it. The writer uses a good source of descriptive vocabulary, for example ‘The moon was showing a ghastly ragged mountainous edge above us in the fog’. This is a good way of keeping the reader hooked to your extract. I really enjoyed the way Apsley Cherry-Gerrard described the scenery; it gave me a good, clear picture of the scenery in my head.


Part 2-Disneyland Parade

The darkness of the night and the icy cold breeze had consumed us. Every inch of the sidewalk was crowded with frozen bodies, huddled up for warmth. The only clear place left was the road, the road the parade was going to take place on. I struggled with the never-ending rope of people, the obstacle that kept me from my destination. You could almost taste the excitement coming from the atmosphere. I grew more and more impatient as I struggled through the crowd, annoyance was making itself visible. My mother’s voice broke me free from my silent cursing. She beckoned me towards herself and I followed obediently.

There at the opening she had found I saw the road, the road where it was going to take place. Other children’s cries of joy echoed in my ears as I waited. Next to me, people talked in an alien tongue; it almost sounded as if they were arguing. Across the road, I saw someone selling flashing lights; I was amazed at how the colours changed from red to blue to purple...etc. There were other’s selling hats, cloaks, teddies and other small childish things, things I wanted back then.

All of a sudden, a huge round of applause broke loose, startling me. All my anticipation had paid off. The parade had finally started. I heard it from the distance, not being able to see it yet. The appraising crowds' applause had made it impossible to hear the music. A short and agonizing minute later a light had caught my attention, it was the first lot of floats. The floats shone brightly as they passed. Some were of Disney characters like the seven dwarves or Cinderella. The way everything was set out amazed me. The way the dancer’s had followed so gracefully to the way the shrouded ones had scared me.

New Girl

Extract 3:

This extract caught my attention as soon as i started reading it. I liked the fact that the romance is something people can actually relate to, instead of a perfect, storybook fantasy. It captures some of the struggles teenagers have expressing their feelings to one another, how always one struggles with the concept that the other actually likes them. For instance, the writer wrote, “He could not think. A tingling sensation was spreading throughout him, paralyzing his arms, legs, and brain.” This shows that the character is confused and stunned, which then leads him to a paralyzed state.


New Girl

He sat at his desk in Biology concentrating on something...on someone. The new girl. Her face was a gorgeous pale white and her eyes were a golden butterscotch colour. Jason had never seen someone’s eyes this colour before. She was perfect.
“What is so special about her? Why am i so interested in her? Why is she the most beautiful person that I have ever seen? Why am i such an idiot?” Jason kept asking these questions to himself.
The bell had not yet rung but he prayed and prayed for it to ring soon. A distraction was exactly what he needed from her. At that moment, she came walking through the door. Her walk had a certain unknown rhythmic pattern to it. Jason’s luck looked like it was turning around. The only available seat was the one beside him. She walked gracefully to the seat not noticing Jason staring with adoring eyes.
“Hey I’m Bella,” she said in a musical voice.
He froze, arms and legs locked into place. He was stunned and slightly confused on why such a beautiful person noticed him. At least now, he knew her name.
“H-h-hello. M-my name is J-Jason,” he stuttered. This made her laugh which then lead to a sigh.
“I hate Biology don’t you?” she asked.
“No actually i like Biology very much.” Jason surprised himself at how easily he was able to talk to her now.
Class was almost finished now. Jason laughed at all his past worries now. Bella and Jason were becoming good friends now; they had Biology and English together.
“Jason” Bella called.
“Yes” Jason replied; his blood was racing under his veins.
Bella stepped towards him hesitantly...then again...until finally she was so close that he could see every aspect of her face clearly. Her breath was in his face as was his in hers. She leaned in closer. Then slowly Jason leaned in and kissed her, unaware of her cold, lips moving in perfect synchronization to his. He had no idea what he was doing but he knew he liked it. This was their first real kiss...

What do they want from me?

Dracula-Opening:

I found this opening very interesting because of how it leaves the reader to figure out what certain things might actually be, for instance the blue flame. The way the writer has many mysteries tied into one caught my eye. By this i mean how we do not know why the wolves are there, where the main character is being taken and what happens next. Like questions purposely left in your head. I have tried to use these key points in my extract.


What do they want from me?

The sudden ring of my phone broke my concentration. I wondered casually towards it not wanting to hint myself out, while also trying to calm my nerves (though i was the most obvious creature here). Through what i had heard, my scent was a delicious mix of subtle yet mind-blowing scents. If not my noisy footsteps then this would surely point me out. I answered the phone anxious but at the same time nervous. Was it the beast or the angel? Such differences in their classifications while both being of the same species. I answered but got nothing i wished to hear; 2 minutes later and i hung up. I left in a hurry and did as the beast said.

My journey was short through the vast, mysterious forest. Everywhere was covered by moss and tree’s, if not mud and sharp, jagged rocks. My eyes wandered through the trees as i drove past...until i saw it, a huge red-brown figure. This was not the first time i had seen it, but this time i was not dreaming. I could not stop i had no time. I drove faster with nerves creeping up on me, until finally i reached the gates. They were a pair of old, rusty gates...the kind you would see in horror movies. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

A sudden burst of howls broke loose startling me. I knew it was the figure i had seen earlier, it had to be. I strode across the footpath not daring to look back when the howls started again. This time the howls sounded much, much angrier like i had done something to hurt them. What did they want from me?

Confused

Opening 7:

This opening stuck out to me mostly because of how the writer uses very little descriptive language which then evolves into meaningless talk. I like this effect because in everyday life, you do not really notice these conversations, but for the main character the conversation is vital. The description does not tell us much on where the character is, which leaves us to search and use our imagination to make a guess. I think these skills are good because it keeps the reader entertained and it makes them want to read on. I have tried to follow these points in my own opening.

Confused

Where am I? Why am I here? I look down to see my beautiful white silk dress, stained by what seems to be my very own blood. That is not what shocks me...I see It torn and I see the bruises. My brain stressed and unable to figure anything out...I do not guess the obvious. Pain struck my body in sudden surprise that I yell in agony. I yell and scream still nobody helps. Passing strangers stare In resentful accusations but what exactly had I done? I see something, which seemed to look like a gem on the wet surface I lay on. I reach and then stop In utter surprise. Green bits of paper lay In a gleaming bag, money, I had found money....I got up and ran till I saw somebody. It was a man who looked very rich and obnoxious. I spoke hesitantly....

“E-e-excuse m-m-me”

“What do u want? You...You thing,” he bellowed not even looking at me. Then he looked. “Oh hello there miss, I’m sorry for being rude.”

“Oh no It’s ok...” I paused. “Do you know where we are?”

“Yes where In old Cromway street...you ok? you look awful?”

“Yes just a bit flushed thank you. Bye”

I stood still frozen. I did not recognize the name of the street but then a stranger-I think-came up to me. He called me Samantha but I had no clue that he was.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, where have you been?” he said politely.

“Sorry I must have wondered of.” I answered in politeness even though I had no clue who he was.

Part of me felt safe and secure with him so I followed into his black Mercedes.

Abused

It is beyond my knowledge of how to escape
In the presence of him. So what hope is there left
For me? Secrets too cruel to imagine, the rape
Was just one step too far. I know not of this theft,
Just the constance abuse I suffered form him. Man
Or a beast I know not the difference nor will
I deny the horrible truth. His hunt began
For my pure and clean soul just a year ago, ill
Sick, Vile. All I feel when I remember what he
Did. The scars a reminder of what he chose. Pain
Is all he brought to me. He took my heart, left me
Torn. His daunting smirk left in my head like a stain.

The Lies In Love (Beginner)

This guilt upon my head has left me dead.
No friends to trust, my actions left me so.
This point in life was left to lie, ahead
I go to find this wrong, although no foe
Intended such a crime. I have attacked
With lies, with hate, with anger and true love.
Your soul's so sweet, so tender yet its packed
so tight. No wonder I'm impatient of
Revealing such an awesome might. A dream
Of mine to hold, to love a gorgeous gal.
I fight all day, to grasp your love. Supreme
you are. You hold the keys to hearts. I shall
regret the pact I made, the pact to stay
away. So now I suffer through the day.

Love

My heart removed. I'm incomplete without
your love. Behind this face a tearful soul.
Is this emotion new to me? A dout
I have, for fear of failure but my goal
is to express my true emotions for
you. As I wonder deep inside of me,
I know you feel the same, today i saw.
Your smile, your laugh all in my fantasy,
this feeling feels so magical, a star
you are, my shooting star. I wish upon
you. Wishing for always you and not a car.
My heart would break to see you gone.
So now i know I have to speak the truth,
I will reveal my love and speak the truth!