lonely me:(

The clouds hovered like evil angels, something malevolent in the red from the rising sun. I'm no sailor, but the adage holds firm: red sky at morning is something I have never witnessed before. I knew today was going to be like no other. I could taste the fear around me. I knew something was going to go wrong. My life had been going too well. Something was going to go wrong. I could feel it. I could sense it. I had shivers going down my spine.
I knew something was going to happen to me, I was getting the signs the moment I woke up. I was just waiting for fait to take its course. I knew today was going to be my last. I was jus waiting. Waiting to die.
My life has always been the same: I’ve always wanted something so much I would do anything but once I got it I would unappreciate it. I guess this was my punishment. I knew he hated me. I deserved everything I got. How could I treat him like that? No wonder the angels hate me. I use to be one of them angels. Well that’s how he use to perceive me. I lost him. He doesn’t want me anymore. He wishes me dead. Today his wish is going to come true. I might aswell die now… I’m going to hell anyway. The angels don’ want me. No one wants me.
No one loves me. It’s always been me. On my own. Fending and fighting the world on my own. Well, I hated it. I hate being lonely. I knew I was ugly, I knew I was a bitch, I knew I deserved to die the moment everyone I ever loved left me. Today I was going to change my life forever.
Change it for the better. I knew I was going to be alone and lonely up in the red devil sky on my own. But it’s better than being down here without love. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be loved. I looked up to the red sky again. I could see the sign of my blood right through it. The red represented my blood. That’s how I knew I had to do it. Just to be happy. I knew the sky wanted me. So I did it. I stabbed myself. It was easy. I bled to death. Now I’m up in the red sky still alone, but atleast I have the sky.
I’m no sailor, but the adage holds firm: red sky at morning is something I have never witnessed before but now I know what it was, a sign from god. A sign telling me to die. A sign relieving me from my unbearable loneliness.