wordvoodooarchive: My Friends

Monday, 29 October 2007

I need my friends like the earth needs the sun,

I need my friends like a burger needs a bun,

I need my friends like a baseball player needs a home run,

And then the team win and they're all proud,

I love my friends as much as a child loves their toys,

I love my friends like girls love boys,

I love my friends as much as a party loves noise,

But then it gets too loud,

I need my friends like a market needs a stall,

I need my friends like supermodel needs to be tall,

I need my friends like a house needs a wall,

And some windows and a front door,

I want my friends like a bee wants a flower,

I want my friends like a villian wants power,

I want my friends like a begger wants a shower,

And be able to fall asleep without having to lye their on the floor,

Shiningstar3 November 2007 at 05:21
I really like your poem and I like the different similes you included.Well done
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eternity.forever.3 November 2007 at 09:07
A really fantastic attempt.
Your rhyming scheme was excellent and you've really got some amazing similes in there.
"I love my friends like girls love boys".
So true. ;D
Great work.
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eternity.forever.3 November 2007 at 09:10
One quick spelling error;
*lie there on the floor.
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englishguru8 November 2007 at 12:26
There are some excellent similes here, and I think they get better and better as the poem progresses (I particularly like "like a villain wants power", for example.)

Your rhyme scheme is clear and effective, although you could perhaps have done something a little more ambitious after each rhyming trimeter (three lines).

Really glad you are posting regularly again: keep it up! :)
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