A group sitting in a circle...
Mary Poppins: Welcome all to the Divorced couples recovery sessions.(she grins and looks around the room) Now, I cannot even begin to imagine how distraught you all may be feeling but we will get through this(She opens out her arms).. together. :]
(Snow Whites coughs violently)
Mary Poppins: And may I remind you, there will be no smoking in our meetings (she takes the cigarette out of Snow whites hand and smells it)...even the herbal stuff. Yes? OK... Who's like to start? How about you, Cinderella?
Cinderella:(takes a deep breath)Not much to tell really. My fella, he was such a sweet heart, he really was but, since the shoe incident, if I'm 10 minutes late from somewhere, he insists calling out a bloody search party! He really did me head in. I just couldn't take it anymore Mary...
Mary Poppins: Right.. I see, so then what did you do about it?
Cinderella: I gave him the boot didn't I?!
Snow White: AAAAAAAAAAAAMEN to that sister! (Giving Cinderella a Hi5)
Mary Poppins:Ahhh, Snow White! Would you like to share your story with the group?
Snow White: (Applying blusher to her face)Well, the marriage just got Sour. Literally. He grew an obsession with apples! Granny Smiths, Pink Ladys, you name them, he ate them!
Mary Poppins: (looking confused) And... what has that got to do with the divorce?
Snow White: (Looks shocked and puts down her make-up) Are you taking the piss?! You know how sensitive I am to Apples. You know what happened. Then, out of nowhere, out pops this craving for apples. I had to make him decide, me or the apples. I guess I wasn't Small and round enough for the git coz he chose the damn apples.
(The group gasps and whispers)
Mary Poppins: Well dear, he obviously wasn't right for-
(The Fairy God Mother enters looking drained)
Mary Poppins: Hmmm, May I help? (Grinning)
Fairy God Mother:Oh, is this the reforming meeting for Alcoholics? (fiddling with her wand)
(The group fall silent and stare in disbelief)
Marry Poppins: No. No, its not. Thats in room 5.1... Toodles now! (Waving hysterically)
(The Fairy God Mother slowly exits hicupping)
Mary Poppins: Well, that shows that a spoonful of sugar really can go a long way! (Laughing whilst Blushing)
LMAO!! You never fail to crack me up!
ReplyDeleteNice one xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi chex,
ReplyDeleteThe little details in this are wonderful. The boot joke, Snow White putting on blusher, her mimicking talk show outbursts. Your gift for humour makes this enjoyable to read. More importantly, the humour draws us into the crucial subversion of "happy endings". It's a very mature view that people need to hear more than the sugar and rainbows most popular entertainment provides.
All this needs is a bit of tightening up. I think the Snow White story is familiar enough that you don't have to have her explain the difficulty with apples. Mary Poppins sometimes intrudes on the pacing a bit. Reading this aloud might help.
But overall a clever, funny piece of deep insight. Thanks.
This is, indeed, clever and sophisticated stuff - and full of wonderful little comic details. I agree that the Mary Poppins character probably works least well, but the others are great - including the poor AA-recruit at the end. Excellent - and very well done indeed! :)
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteI love the truly subversive take on the fairytale convention here - not only are the characters entirely different from their conventional sweet and innocent image, but the situation is highly original, comic and subversive. The "recovery session" scenerio is perfect for the inversion of expections required here.
The stage directions are brilliant - they are concise and to-the-point - and just what are required for writing script. I particularly like the Fairy Godmother "fiddling with her wand" - this tells us so deftly that she is a little nervous, without actually spelling it out.
I agree that Snow White doesn't need to explain quite so much. For me, it's because Cinderella's problem is so perfect - and believable! - and Snow White's problem is more surreal. This isn't a bad thing, and is easily made clear by her simply not explaining it: she could just let it be a bit of the absurd in its own right.
I look forward to reading more of your work - I really enjoyed this. Very well done.
Thanks,
Penny
In fact, I've been thinking about this a bit more and perhaps you could follow the same logic of the Cinderella situation by playing on Snow White's huband's fears, rather than her own? It's so good that the thing that reunited Cinderella and her prince in the first place - his relentless search for her - becomes repressive. Perhaps Snow White's prince is jealous of the seven dwarves!
ReplyDeleteOk thanks alot for the feedback, I shall be re-writing when I find the time! :]
ReplyDeleteHi mimi
ReplyDeleteJust to add my comments, though there isn't much that hasn't been said already...
You do have a good natural sense of humour, and this comes out well - particularly with the characters of Cinderella and Snow White, I think. It's funny because we recognise the 'stories', but their personalities are not what we expect (eg, the putting on make up, the slang talk, the 'amen sister' - which really made me smile!) I think perhaps Mary Poppins works slightly less well because she is not subverted in the same way: she's still kind of nanny-ish, prim and uptight, and this manner of hers does kind of slow the pace/take away from the comic nature in parts.
Possibly you could give us more of the fairy godmother - just one or two more lines - maybe something to illustrate what HER problems are, what's gone so wrong in her life that she has turned to alcohol... this could give her appearance more depth as well as comic value