Task 3

It's snarls and tears at new found flesh,
It's eyes darting, to fix and stare.
Steam rises off meat, so fresh,
Another victim of a mountain bear.

The Hunter (edit)

Through moments of hate, the silent night.
Is home to the being of no ashamed.
That wolf. Each beady eye, to the right.
That hunter. Body to the ground, abilities tamed.

The Hunter

Preying, stalking, seeking, the silent night.
Husky sounds of rancid breathing, heartless.
That wolf. Each beady eye, shining twilight.
That hunter. Body to the ground, tameless.

My sweet kitten

I see a peek of her big ginger tail
It comes from underneath the soft white rug
I look at her in peace with such detail
She sleeps and dreams in her nice bed so snug

The Farmers Joy

that eerie sound which sooths the countries ears
the farmer's joy reflected in his hands
reluctantly the baby looks the shears
it contemplates the fact that it's a lamb

Butterfly

A flash of colour from her outstretched wings
I see the patterns that make her truly fine
Just one sight of her makes the magpies sing
As I count the dots on her large wings; 7,8,9.

the shark

My shadowy figure lies beneath the ocean
I hide alone captured by the dark
Cast away, my heart remains broken
I am what I am, I am a shark

Shark...

In the deepest blue his watchful eye stares,
A swish of his tail, he remains hidden,
we wait while he prepares for the attack,
this swift and hungry beast awaits our blood.

MONKEY

Why this creature is so clever
It is prettier than any other animal
Is so soft and warm like leather
Just like the gorgeous summer fall

The Prey

The Prey

Calmly relaxed about his serene life.
The foe plans to strike, one which will not mend.
Time slips past, as he goes under the knife.
The bloodshed, the torn flesh, a life must end.

Scorpio

On the prowl always ready to sting
You keep well away from their little clippers
They could kill with one sting and bring
Pain so no not going near their nippers

Wild Animal

Whilst I’m Flocking through the fields all day
And look at my outstretched paws,
I think about every time I catch my prey;
And hope for a key to mend my wild claws.

Everybody like blood now and again

You know when your a lion like myself
you just love the sight of delightful blood.
but when you challenge a zebra with stealth,
then your good blood will rush out with a flood!

The Predator

Some target from the sky, some hunt the ground
relentlesley killing their hopeless prey
So savage, ending lives without a sound,
A predator does not intend to play.

Kitty Cat

Its glistening eyes shine throughout the night,
Until day breaks and night begins to fall.
It again reveals its beauty; so bright,
With its silhouette perched up on the wall.

Task: Mastering the dreaded IAMB

A couple of things before I begin:

1. PLEASE make sure you have all posted your weekly posts by the end of each Friday. Some of you fell a bit behind to start with, and some of you have yet to post ANYTHING (and your place on the Workshop hangs in the balance as a result).
2. PLEASE make sure that, as well as completing each task yourself, I expect you ALL to comment on AT LEAST FOUR other posts that week too. Be positive, of course, but don't be afraid to point out how it could be improved too. This is the only way you are all going to continue to improve - and it can't JUST be down to me to assess everything. It goes against the democratic nature of this blog. Thanks! :)

Right, now for this week's task. Conquering the horrible IAMB!!!

I will start by quoting from some of your poems, to show where you went wrong (and right).

This is a successful iambic pentameter:

The city lies below the weighty sky

Look at the stresses, which will be obvious when you read it out loud:

the CIty LIES beLOW the WEIGHty SKY

It is a perfect 'dee-DUM' rhythm, with 5 iambic feet.

These are successful iambic tetrameters:

The place where I can be myself...
And yet we know its history...
My books are there my clothes are here...

With each one, notice how it begins with an UNSTRESSED syllable, and then follows a dee-DUM pattern throughout.

And this is a perfect iambic trimeter (3 feet):

The pyramids stand proud

I realise that 'stand' could be either stressed or unstressed (and this sort of thing is probably what is confusing many of you), but in this line, the stresses fall quite naturally as follow:

the PYraMIDS stand PROUD.

And now for some which didn't quite work...

Here's one from 'Egypt':

The nile lies still catching the sun

This WOULD be a perfect iambic tetrameter (i.e. FOUR iambic feet), if it were not for the fact that the word catching is stressed 'catchING' - which sounds very awkward. How could this line have worked? Well, what about:

The NILE lies STILL beNEATH the SUN...

And what about this from 'My Leyton':

People and people rushing by

Almost a perfect iambic tetrameter too, if it weren't for the first word, which would have to be pronounced peoPLE. How about:

a MILLion PEOple RUSHing BY...

And this one from 'Calm Mauritius':

Where tourists are stunned by views and

This has the correct 8 syllables for an iambic tetrameter, but it leaves the words ARE and BY and AND stressed, which doesn't sound right. What about:

where TOURists SPRAWL aMID the SAND...

This pentameter (from 'Stonehenge') is ALMOST iambic, except for the word INfested, which SHOULD have the second syllable stressed, but here has the FIRST and THIRD:

An ancient playground infested with myths

How about:

An ancient playground of a million myths...

This attempted tetrameter from 'View of Bangladesh' is just missing a syllable to complete it:

I lay there with my mind bare

What about:

I lay there with my mind laid bare...

So, you see, it IS possible, in ALL your poems. It just takes perseverance, and a CLOSE study of:

• all the Task 2 poems (including the comments);
• last week's task (in full);
• and the whole of this post.

You will feel SO satisfied when you master this - just as you will feel SO annoyed if lots of the others master it this week and you are left behind.

Right, so what do I expect you to do for Task 3?

Well, we're not quite ready for a sonnet yet, but we should be by next week. This week, I simply want:

1. a four-line poem (otherwise known as a quatrain);
2. with an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme (i.e. Lines 1 and 3 rhyme, as do lines 2 and 4);
3. written in iambic (i.e. dee-DUM) pentameters (i.e. 5 feet/beats/stressed);
4. about an ANIMAL of your choice.

Here is my attempt...

Orang Utan

A flash of rusty fur flies through the air;
A branch breaks off and crashes to the ground;
I squint to catch a glimpse of orange hair:
This fiery beast refuses to be found.

See what you can come up with, and remember:

• quatrain
• a-b-a-b
• 5 beats
• dee-DUM
  

Have fun, and good luck!