Emma: our love ,our lust was going to be a blast
Jerry: true,but all good thing must come to an end
Emma: I was seeking a love that was to last
Jerry: for me i wanted a part time girlfriend
Emma: oh,so you used me for weekend fun
Jerry: well it was more than just on the weekend
Emma: typical jerry always being so dumb
Jerry: but baby you knew it was gonna end
Emma: so our love was fake, you part time hubby
Jerry: i wasnt goin to work you knew that
Emma: i spent so long clinging to hope that maybe
Jerry: maybe id leave judith on the doormat
Emma: our love was once magical ,when we tried
Jerry: so then its fair to say the magic has died
Almost all your lines have the requisite 10 syllables, apart from: Lines 1, 5, 7, 11 & 14.
ReplyDeleteBut are they iambic? Like several other students, the iamb is still causing your trouble. You manage it completely in Lines 2, 6 & 8, but see if you can figure out which feet/syllables let you down in the other lines.
And the poem? Capture the two characters very effectively (although the word 'gonna' is rather too American, I reckon...)
Well done!