Aladdin: Honey I'm home!
Jasmine: Ah finally took your time didn't you. Did you bring my paracetamol.
Aladdin: Yes... i brought your bloody paracetamol and your hot water bottle and the rest of the rubbish.
Jasmine: Hey... There's a line. DON'T cross it. NONE OF THE STUFF is rubbish.
Aladdin: (sighs) Yes honey.
Jasmine: Right then, you can start with the ironing then do the dishes followed by the hoover and then i want you to clean up the bathroom, it's in a right mess.
Aladdin: O great, I come home after a long day at the carpet factory and you start bossing me around.
Jasmine: WHAT?
Aladdin: O nothing. Is that all honey?
Jasmine: Yes, then you can join me in bed.
Aladdin: Right. (half heatedly)
Monday, 14 April 2008
Task 23
A group sitting in a circle...
Mary Poppins: Welcome all to the Divorced couples recovery sessions.(she grins and looks around the room) Now, I cannot even begin to imagine how distraught you all may be feeling but we will get through this(She opens out her arms).. together. :]
(Snow Whites coughs violently)
Mary Poppins: And may I remind you, there will be no smoking in our meetings (she takes the cigarette out of Snow whites hand and smells it)...even the herbal stuff. Yes? OK... Who's like to start? How about you, Cinderella?
Cinderella:(takes a deep breath)Not much to tell really. My fella, he was such a sweet heart, he really was but, since the shoe incident, if I'm 10 minutes late from somewhere, he insists calling out a bloody search party! He really did me head in. I just couldn't take it anymore Mary...
Mary Poppins: Right.. I see, so then what did you do about it?
Cinderella: I gave him the boot didn't I?!
Snow White: AAAAAAAAAAAAMEN to that sister! (Giving Cinderella a Hi5)
Mary Poppins:Ahhh, Snow White! Would you like to share your story with the group?
Snow White: (Applying blusher to her face)Well, the marriage just got Sour. Literally. He grew an obsession with apples! Granny Smiths, Pink Ladys, you name them, he ate them!
Mary Poppins: (looking confused) And... what has that got to do with the divorce?
Snow White: (Looks shocked and puts down her make-up) Are you taking the piss?! You know how sensitive I am to Apples. You know what happened. Then, out of nowhere, out pops this craving for apples. I had to make him decide, me or the apples. I guess I wasn't Small and round enough for the git coz he chose the damn apples.
(The group gasps and whispers)
Mary Poppins: Well dear, he obviously wasn't right for-
(The Fairy God Mother enters looking drained)
Mary Poppins: Hmmm, May I help? (Grinning)
Fairy God Mother:Oh, is this the reforming meeting for Alcoholics? (fiddling with her wand)
(The group fall silent and stare in disbelief)
Marry Poppins: No. No, its not. Thats in room 5.1... Toodles now! (Waving hysterically)
(The Fairy God Mother slowly exits hicupping)
Mary Poppins: Well, that shows that a spoonful of sugar really can go a long way! (Laughing whilst Blushing)
Mary Poppins: Welcome all to the Divorced couples recovery sessions.(she grins and looks around the room) Now, I cannot even begin to imagine how distraught you all may be feeling but we will get through this(She opens out her arms).. together. :]
(Snow Whites coughs violently)
Mary Poppins: And may I remind you, there will be no smoking in our meetings (she takes the cigarette out of Snow whites hand and smells it)...even the herbal stuff. Yes? OK... Who's like to start? How about you, Cinderella?
Cinderella:(takes a deep breath)Not much to tell really. My fella, he was such a sweet heart, he really was but, since the shoe incident, if I'm 10 minutes late from somewhere, he insists calling out a bloody search party! He really did me head in. I just couldn't take it anymore Mary...
Mary Poppins: Right.. I see, so then what did you do about it?
Cinderella: I gave him the boot didn't I?!
Snow White: AAAAAAAAAAAAMEN to that sister! (Giving Cinderella a Hi5)
Mary Poppins:Ahhh, Snow White! Would you like to share your story with the group?
Snow White: (Applying blusher to her face)Well, the marriage just got Sour. Literally. He grew an obsession with apples! Granny Smiths, Pink Ladys, you name them, he ate them!
Mary Poppins: (looking confused) And... what has that got to do with the divorce?
Snow White: (Looks shocked and puts down her make-up) Are you taking the piss?! You know how sensitive I am to Apples. You know what happened. Then, out of nowhere, out pops this craving for apples. I had to make him decide, me or the apples. I guess I wasn't Small and round enough for the git coz he chose the damn apples.
(The group gasps and whispers)
Mary Poppins: Well dear, he obviously wasn't right for-
(The Fairy God Mother enters looking drained)
Mary Poppins: Hmmm, May I help? (Grinning)
Fairy God Mother:Oh, is this the reforming meeting for Alcoholics? (fiddling with her wand)
(The group fall silent and stare in disbelief)
Marry Poppins: No. No, its not. Thats in room 5.1... Toodles now! (Waving hysterically)
(The Fairy God Mother slowly exits hicupping)
Mary Poppins: Well, that shows that a spoonful of sugar really can go a long way! (Laughing whilst Blushing)
Sunday, 13 April 2008
Life under the sea
Little Mermaid: (searches for something)
Flounder: (Looks up from 'fishes in the news today')You lost them again, haven't you...?
Little Mermaid: They were around here somewhere.. I haven't lost them, I have simply... misplaced them, is all...
Flounder: ... You've lost them havn't you?
Little Mermaid: (on the verge of tears) Yes. I don't know what to do! I have to go up to see Eric tonight. I, I- Flounder... You know you're my favourite little fishy in the who-
Flounder: Forget it.
Little Mermaid: Ah come on, gimme a break!
Flounder: I am NOT looking for them again, you have to look after your stuff Ariel. (Goes back to reading newspaper)
Little Mermaid: FINE but don't hold your breathe while waiting for me to bring you back more fish food from above! (Swims out of the room in a strop)
(15 minutes later, Ariel swims back in with her head held down)
Flounder: (Not looking up from newspaper) Didn't find them then?
Little Mermaid: (Gives the fish a nasty look) Maybe I would have if I had a decent FRIEND to help me look for them.
Flounder: Ah, alright alright, (Wiggles fins, about to move from his comfy chair of seaweed when he spots them) Erm, Ariel?
Little Mermaid: What? What is it now, what do you want? If you're gonna make a stupid rema-
Flounder: Looked behind the coral reefs?
Little Mermaid: (Turns bright red) Yes well, (clears throat) thanks. I had a feeling they were there all along, I mean, yes, I was going to look there next in fact.
Flounder: Goes back to newspaper
Ariel gathers her belongings and swims up to the surface but reconsiders and swims back towards Flounder
Little Mermaid: (Hugs Flounder and whispers) Thank you, thank you!
Flounder: (Shocked at the sudden show of emotion) Erm, yes, well it's quite alright, now go, off with you! Don't want to be late seeing Prince Eric now do you? Go on! (Goes back to newspaper looking annoyed)
Little Mermaid: ((Kisses her little fish friend and swims up to the surface while clumsily putting on her legs before she reaches land
Flounder: (Looks up at the struggling mermaid/girl and gives a chuckle, then goes back to his newspaper.
Flounder: (Looks up from 'fishes in the news today')You lost them again, haven't you...?
Little Mermaid: They were around here somewhere.. I haven't lost them, I have simply... misplaced them, is all...
Flounder: ... You've lost them havn't you?
Little Mermaid: (on the verge of tears) Yes. I don't know what to do! I have to go up to see Eric tonight. I, I- Flounder... You know you're my favourite little fishy in the who-
Flounder: Forget it.
Little Mermaid: Ah come on, gimme a break!
Flounder: I am NOT looking for them again, you have to look after your stuff Ariel. (Goes back to reading newspaper)
Little Mermaid: FINE but don't hold your breathe while waiting for me to bring you back more fish food from above! (Swims out of the room in a strop)
(15 minutes later, Ariel swims back in with her head held down)
Flounder: (Not looking up from newspaper) Didn't find them then?
Little Mermaid: (Gives the fish a nasty look) Maybe I would have if I had a decent FRIEND to help me look for them.
Flounder: Ah, alright alright, (Wiggles fins, about to move from his comfy chair of seaweed when he spots them) Erm, Ariel?
Little Mermaid: What? What is it now, what do you want? If you're gonna make a stupid rema-
Flounder: Looked behind the coral reefs?
Little Mermaid: (Turns bright red) Yes well, (clears throat) thanks. I had a feeling they were there all along, I mean, yes, I was going to look there next in fact.
Flounder: Goes back to newspaper
Ariel gathers her belongings and swims up to the surface but reconsiders and swims back towards Flounder
Little Mermaid: (Hugs Flounder and whispers) Thank you, thank you!
Flounder: (Shocked at the sudden show of emotion) Erm, yes, well it's quite alright, now go, off with you! Don't want to be late seeing Prince Eric now do you? Go on! (Goes back to newspaper looking annoyed)
Little Mermaid: ((Kisses her little fish friend and swims up to the surface while clumsily putting on her legs before she reaches land
Flounder: (Looks up at the struggling mermaid/girl and gives a chuckle, then goes back to his newspaper.
Saturday, 12 April 2008
A Red-blooded Repeat... (Redraft)
Little Red: (screams) OI MUM! (mother shifts her eyes towards her daughter hastily)
Mother: Yes, Red darling. Whatever is the matter now?
Little Red: I'm going to give these goodies to grandma. Yeah? Buhbye now don't wait up.
Mother: HOLD UP THERE YOUNG LADY. You know the rules though yes?
Little Red: Yeah yeah whatever. We've gone over it a million times now. (mimics mother in a rude high pitched tone) Don't talk to strangers, don't pick strawberries, and never trust any absurd species like foxes to direct you when in need of help... (mutters) again.
Mother: Well done. And make sure you keep that cake well wrapped up. We don't want it getting stuck to the biscuits now do we. What an awful mess that would make!
Little Red: (rolls her eyes and puts on a fake innocent girl's voice) YES MOTHER DEAREST. (back to normal tone) Why's that old bag keep getting sick anyways? I'm sure it was just the other day she wanted us baking cookies for her. How pathetic...
Mother: Don't talk about your grandma like that darling! Can you blame that sweet lady? That bloody wolf nearly gave her a bleeding heart attack the last time this all happened. Speaking of wolf remember not to...
Little Red: I GET IT WOMAN!
Mother: Very well. Now stop all this chit chat. Grandma will be expecting you soon!
Little Red: (she mumbles) Unfortunatly. Well, bye. As I said. Don't wait up.
(she walks towards the forest as a route to grandma's house and endlessly picks strawberries and immediately starts chewing on them, despite her mother forbidding her to do so. She then bumps into a familiar face)
Little Red: (evil smirk) Well hello there Wolfy. How you been?
Wolf: Please, don't hurt me... again. I'm just on my way home now. Honest.
Little Red: I see. Anyways how you holding up... you know after the last time. (looks into space in reminiscent memory smiling) You haven't told anyone about our little secret now have you, cos' if you do... well... you know the drill. (she winks)
Wolf: Yes Red. I won't tell nobody how you beat me senseless and bully me for no absolute reason at all. (uncertainly smiles)
Little Red: And?
Wolf: And especially not to tell your mother. Even though if she does know you won't mind as you are so absolutely ruthless and careless it won't even come across as a big deal to ya, will it?
Little Red: Now that's what I like to hear. But guess what I'm still gonna go ahead and beat ya anyways. You know, for no absolute reason at all... as you said.
Wolf: Please, I really must dash and...
(before he finishes Red picks up an axe left by the local woodcutter near a tree and walks toward the wolf...)
Little Red: Now turn around Wolfy. This won't hurt any more than you think it will. Turn around. NOW!
Wolf: Yes Red. I know the drill...
(She edges towards him with the axe...)
Mother: Yes, Red darling. Whatever is the matter now?
Little Red: I'm going to give these goodies to grandma. Yeah? Buhbye now don't wait up.
Mother: HOLD UP THERE YOUNG LADY. You know the rules though yes?
Little Red: Yeah yeah whatever. We've gone over it a million times now. (mimics mother in a rude high pitched tone) Don't talk to strangers, don't pick strawberries, and never trust any absurd species like foxes to direct you when in need of help... (mutters) again.
Mother: Well done. And make sure you keep that cake well wrapped up. We don't want it getting stuck to the biscuits now do we. What an awful mess that would make!
Little Red: (rolls her eyes and puts on a fake innocent girl's voice) YES MOTHER DEAREST. (back to normal tone) Why's that old bag keep getting sick anyways? I'm sure it was just the other day she wanted us baking cookies for her. How pathetic...
Mother: Don't talk about your grandma like that darling! Can you blame that sweet lady? That bloody wolf nearly gave her a bleeding heart attack the last time this all happened. Speaking of wolf remember not to...
Little Red: I GET IT WOMAN!
Mother: Very well. Now stop all this chit chat. Grandma will be expecting you soon!
Little Red: (she mumbles) Unfortunatly. Well, bye. As I said. Don't wait up.
(she walks towards the forest as a route to grandma's house and endlessly picks strawberries and immediately starts chewing on them, despite her mother forbidding her to do so. She then bumps into a familiar face)
Little Red: (evil smirk) Well hello there Wolfy. How you been?
Wolf: Please, don't hurt me... again. I'm just on my way home now. Honest.
Little Red: I see. Anyways how you holding up... you know after the last time. (looks into space in reminiscent memory smiling) You haven't told anyone about our little secret now have you, cos' if you do... well... you know the drill. (she winks)
Wolf: Yes Red. I won't tell nobody how you beat me senseless and bully me for no absolute reason at all. (uncertainly smiles)
Little Red: And?
Wolf: And especially not to tell your mother. Even though if she does know you won't mind as you are so absolutely ruthless and careless it won't even come across as a big deal to ya, will it?
Little Red: Now that's what I like to hear. But guess what I'm still gonna go ahead and beat ya anyways. You know, for no absolute reason at all... as you said.
Wolf: Please, I really must dash and...
(before he finishes Red picks up an axe left by the local woodcutter near a tree and walks toward the wolf...)
Little Red: Now turn around Wolfy. This won't hurt any more than you think it will. Turn around. NOW!
Wolf: Yes Red. I know the drill...
(She edges towards him with the axe...)
Scary Mary
Cinderella is sitting on her bed when her Mum comes banging on her door. She anounces that she has found yet another new baby sitter.
Cinederella(on phone): grr bloody parents, when will they learn i can look after my self. (pauses) I'll call you in about half an hour, that should be enough time to scare off mum's latest.(puts phone down and walks towards the door.) What now woman?
Mum: Cinderella this is...
Cinderella: My name is Cindy! geeze mother you named me you'd think you would have got it right by now.
Mum: Fine then. Cindy this is Mary Poppins.(mary poppins steps forwards) She is the woman off the telly,you know on that show...
Mary Poppins: super nanny.
Mum: yeah that one. Well the show got axed so i hired her to whip you into shape.
Cindy(laughs): Oh please mother, we have gone through 36 nannys in the past 4 months and you bring an old lady to my room.(turns hysterical).the only thing she is whipping is the cream for cakes.
Mum(tuts):you see what i have to put up with.
Mary Poppins:its ok mrs Bella,i can handle it.you and your husband have a good time now.
(mum exits)
(Cinderella waits for her mum to go then attempts to shut door in Mary Poppins face. Mary Poppins puts her foot in the way.)
Cindy: Nice try old lady (slams door shut, and retreats to her bed intending to continue phone call)
Mary Poppins (laughs): Who said I was trying? (pulls umberella out of bag and blows open the door cindy's bedroom).
Cindy (sniggers): Do you always carry C4 in your bag, or is your breath really that bad?
Mary Poppins: C4 is convenient but it leaves terrible mess afterwards and i suppose thier are other ways.
Cindy (concerned): other ways for what?
Mary Poppins(advancing towards cindy): Come on now Cindy. I can't stand you little misbehaved, ill-manerd brats or that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious junk. Its so boring, and at my time of life i need something hmm... entertaining. so I thought what better way to solve a problem than to erase it completely.
Cindy(stuttered):wwhat doo youu mean...
Mary Poppins: killing children dosen't make for good television, not to mention good reviews. so when one moany parent complained her child had been set alight and hit for a home run with a baseball bat, the producer said he felt it best we 'terminate our current contract agrement'. I mean the little thing just slept all day, even when I was talking to him. Thats just plain disrespect if you ask me and besides it wasn't even a full swing; i'd say more a 2nd base shot.
Cindy (shocked): You mean to say it was you that killed Sleepy.
Mary Poppins:And Sneezy, Dopey, Doc, Bashful...oh and Grumpy but i dont think he was too happy about it. besides I prefer to think of it of erasing Britians pest problem.
Cindy: how could you?
Mary Poppins: It's like ridding a bike: at first it seems difficult but after that there's no stopping me.a sort of routine now, every child must have thier own 'medicine'.
Cindy: No! Please not me. I'm just a young girl, it's all down to my hormones, I can change.
Mary Poppins: it's to late to say sorry!
Cindy(sobs): I truly promise i'll never ever be bad again. (sits on floor and begins to rock bak and forward)
(Mary Poppins advances closer towards Cindy. She kneels down beside her. Mary's head moves closser and she wispers)
Mary Poppins (whispers):Job done! now the healing can begin....
Cinederella(on phone): grr bloody parents, when will they learn i can look after my self. (pauses) I'll call you in about half an hour, that should be enough time to scare off mum's latest.(puts phone down and walks towards the door.) What now woman?
Mum: Cinderella this is...
Cinderella: My name is Cindy! geeze mother you named me you'd think you would have got it right by now.
Mum: Fine then. Cindy this is Mary Poppins.(mary poppins steps forwards) She is the woman off the telly,you know on that show...
Mary Poppins: super nanny.
Mum: yeah that one. Well the show got axed so i hired her to whip you into shape.
Cindy(laughs): Oh please mother, we have gone through 36 nannys in the past 4 months and you bring an old lady to my room.(turns hysterical).the only thing she is whipping is the cream for cakes.
Mum(tuts):you see what i have to put up with.
Mary Poppins:its ok mrs Bella,i can handle it.you and your husband have a good time now.
(mum exits)
(Cinderella waits for her mum to go then attempts to shut door in Mary Poppins face. Mary Poppins puts her foot in the way.)
Cindy: Nice try old lady (slams door shut, and retreats to her bed intending to continue phone call)
Mary Poppins (laughs): Who said I was trying? (pulls umberella out of bag and blows open the door cindy's bedroom).
Cindy (sniggers): Do you always carry C4 in your bag, or is your breath really that bad?
Mary Poppins: C4 is convenient but it leaves terrible mess afterwards and i suppose thier are other ways.
Cindy (concerned): other ways for what?
Mary Poppins(advancing towards cindy): Come on now Cindy. I can't stand you little misbehaved, ill-manerd brats or that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious junk. Its so boring, and at my time of life i need something hmm... entertaining. so I thought what better way to solve a problem than to erase it completely.
Cindy(stuttered):wwhat doo youu mean...
Mary Poppins: killing children dosen't make for good television, not to mention good reviews. so when one moany parent complained her child had been set alight and hit for a home run with a baseball bat, the producer said he felt it best we 'terminate our current contract agrement'. I mean the little thing just slept all day, even when I was talking to him. Thats just plain disrespect if you ask me and besides it wasn't even a full swing; i'd say more a 2nd base shot.
Cindy (shocked): You mean to say it was you that killed Sleepy.
Mary Poppins:And Sneezy, Dopey, Doc, Bashful...oh and Grumpy but i dont think he was too happy about it. besides I prefer to think of it of erasing Britians pest problem.
Cindy: how could you?
Mary Poppins: It's like ridding a bike: at first it seems difficult but after that there's no stopping me.a sort of routine now, every child must have thier own 'medicine'.
Cindy: No! Please not me. I'm just a young girl, it's all down to my hormones, I can change.
Mary Poppins: it's to late to say sorry!
Cindy(sobs): I truly promise i'll never ever be bad again. (sits on floor and begins to rock bak and forward)
(Mary Poppins advances closer towards Cindy. She kneels down beside her. Mary's head moves closser and she wispers)
Mary Poppins (whispers):Job done! now the healing can begin....
Task 23
(Snow white is sitting on her bed, while on the phone to Cinderella. The Prince walks into snow-white’s bedroom.)
Snow white: (angry tone) Can’t you see that I’m busy (calm tone) I’m not sleeping darling, I don’t need your kiss to wake me up. (prince walks out the room) So sorry about that dear.
Cinderella: Oh, that’s alright. We all know how they are like. (laughs). My prince charming keeps buying me shoes and everyday I have to try on about a hundred of them! It’s getting a bit too much now but he doesn’t listen.
Snow white: Hmm, I see and trust me I feel your pain. Every time I go to sleep, he thinks that I took an apple and fainted again. You know what he’ll do next.
Cinderella: Oh yes, yes…no need to tell. But I think he cares about you, not like mine. (starts crying)
Snow white: Oh dear, what is the matter? Don’t cry over him, you can leave him any time you want. He loves your shoes more than you, doesn’t he?
Cinderella: (wipes her tears) Yes he does, sometimes I wonder why I got married to him. How can I leave him?
Snow white: err…you just walk out the door and there you’re gone.
Cinderella: Not that easy, I love him. (starts crying again)
Snow white: Oh God…stop crying like a little girl. It’s annoying you know. You love him? Do you really? Love… (pause) Do you even know that the word means?
Cinderella: Sorry, I can’t help but cry. (wipes her tears) Hmm…hmm…no actually I don’t know the meaning of it but I talk about it every time. Do you know?
Snow white: (laughs) Me? Nope, no idea what so ever. The word doesn’t really mean anything to me.
Cinderella: Oh, have you ever been in love? You must have been, you know with your prince.
Snow white: Ha! You think of me wrong then. No I haven’t been.
Cinderella: Really must get going now.
Snow white: Need to try another pair of shoes, do we? (starts laughing again)
Cinderella: (sigh) Yes. Anyways I’ll talk to you some other time, Bye. (hangs up)
Snow white: (prince walks into the room again) So sorry about earlier darling, I love you and I would never ever leave your side (smiles) even if I had to. Come sit by me.
Friday, 11 April 2008
The Suicidal Gingerbread Man
Lying down on the sofa, the little gingerbread man is seeking help after an awful year of manic depression. Talking to the councillor he explains his worries.
Councillor: ...So how did you feel after you had fled the old couple?
GM: I wasn't certain of how to feel. Obviously at that time I was quite anxious, I mean I had to constantly watch my back. These days, you just can't trust old people.
Councillor: Yes... and how do you feel about the cow that tried to molest you for your buttons?
GM: Oh God, I felt, how can I put it? (starts to weep) I felt ashamed. I blamed myself and thought I was leading the cow on. These days, you can't trust cows.
Councillor: Yes, take your time. This must be very hard for you, this injustice. But I am here to help and that is what I am going to do. Now, mr. Gingerbread man, when the horse attacked you, how did you react?
GM: Negatively. That horse was out to get me, I was terrified, I mean what else could I have been? It was just evil attacking a poor defensless creature like me. It was wrong of him. I was surprised I got away. I am very fortunate to have God on my side. These days, you just can't trust horses.
Councillor: You poor thing. Coping through such distress is often tricky, yet I find it useful to review the situation, after so many incidents I would have asked myself "Now, do I trust this creature?"...
GM: ... Yes well, as you know us gingerbreads are quite naiive, but I knew to be careful with the fox. You see, after everything that had happened, I find it hard putting my trust into anything or anyone, they just take that trust and use it against me. Yet I was clever with the fox. I was ever so careful and he (Starts sobbing) Oh God, he assured me, everything would be cool if I just hopped onto his back and swam over that river. (Cries now) But, he was a sinner too, and I only narrowly excaped his claws. You just can't trust foxes.
Councilor: Mr. Gingerbread man, don't cry, you'll make your ... juicy biscuit base all wet and soggy. Now, seeing as you've trusted me, I am going to trust you. (she locks the door. She then turns to the gingerbread man) I didn't have to run as fast as I can, I can catch you, naiive gingerbread man!!!!
(she then gobbles him down in a few bites.)
Councillor: ...So how did you feel after you had fled the old couple?
GM: I wasn't certain of how to feel. Obviously at that time I was quite anxious, I mean I had to constantly watch my back. These days, you just can't trust old people.
Councillor: Yes... and how do you feel about the cow that tried to molest you for your buttons?
GM: Oh God, I felt, how can I put it? (starts to weep) I felt ashamed. I blamed myself and thought I was leading the cow on. These days, you can't trust cows.
Councillor: Yes, take your time. This must be very hard for you, this injustice. But I am here to help and that is what I am going to do. Now, mr. Gingerbread man, when the horse attacked you, how did you react?
GM: Negatively. That horse was out to get me, I was terrified, I mean what else could I have been? It was just evil attacking a poor defensless creature like me. It was wrong of him. I was surprised I got away. I am very fortunate to have God on my side. These days, you just can't trust horses.
Councillor: You poor thing. Coping through such distress is often tricky, yet I find it useful to review the situation, after so many incidents I would have asked myself "Now, do I trust this creature?"...
GM: ... Yes well, as you know us gingerbreads are quite naiive, but I knew to be careful with the fox. You see, after everything that had happened, I find it hard putting my trust into anything or anyone, they just take that trust and use it against me. Yet I was clever with the fox. I was ever so careful and he (Starts sobbing) Oh God, he assured me, everything would be cool if I just hopped onto his back and swam over that river. (Cries now) But, he was a sinner too, and I only narrowly excaped his claws. You just can't trust foxes.
Councilor: Mr. Gingerbread man, don't cry, you'll make your ... juicy biscuit base all wet and soggy. Now, seeing as you've trusted me, I am going to trust you. (she locks the door. She then turns to the gingerbread man) I didn't have to run as fast as I can, I can catch you, naiive gingerbread man!!!!
(she then gobbles him down in a few bites.)
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