Thursday, 26 April 2007

Black Sky

The clouds hovered like evil angels, something malevolent in the red from the rising sun. I'm no sailor, but the adage holds firm: red sky at morning...but jet black at night.

It was something about the sky.The blackness of it.As if... it influenced my dreadful actions. I didn't mean to. Not really... It was only a tap. Just a tap. She was shouting at me and i really don't like it when people shout at me, not at all. All she was saying were just false accusations.All false.I didn't do what she said, i mean, come on i would never do that to her. I don't even think he's good looking! She just got too caught up in teenage 'love' that she forgets about her friends.Best friends. They were spending far too much time together. She hardly talked to me anymore.

She shouldn't of accused me the way she did... She's wrong. She doesnt know anything. Its when she came charging towards me with eyes as fierce as hell that i switched.I switched BIG time. As i said before , it was only the slightest tap ,she's just weak. I blacked out for a few minutes after. It was only when i looked down at my bloody hands that i'd realised I'd killed her...

The clouds hovered like evil angels, something malevolent in the red from the rising sun. I'm no sailor, but the adage holds firm: red sky at morning...but jet black in the night.

4 comments:

  1. This is fantastic. You manage, for the most part, to keep it subtle and low-key, whilst working towards a powerful climax too. However, one thing I would definitely change is the end of your penultimate paragraph. "that i'd realised I'd killed her.." Would it be better to end the paragraph with something like "It was only when I looked down at my bloody hands that I realised what I had done" or even "It was only when I looked down at my bloody hands that I knew..." Do you see what I mean?

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  2. i agree with sir on that one... :D

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  3. omg aminaa ur story is really good it proper builds up to a strong climax:d well done lol

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  4. Aminoooooooo!! =D
    Ur story is realli gd b!
    i was propa gettin into it unoo lol

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