Irresistible red...

The clouds hovered like evil angels, something malevolent in the red from the rising sun. I'm no sailor, but the adage holds firm: red sky at morning shepherds warning.
I think thats what triggered me. that red sky.that red sun.that red blood. i'm not like this most of the time, i swear to you, i'm normal. but just when i started to feel a little better about myself. about who i actually was. about why i was, who i am. the sky went ahead and turned its back on me as well, just like everything else in this bloody world.
There, you see?. blood. i despise that word. that is the reason i put it together with 'world' you know.i despise that word too.
Hate. it's such a powerful word, thats why i don't use it. i prefer to use less powerful words, because they remind me of myself. they remind me of the position i always seem to be in. always have been in. always will be in. at least thats what people say to me. but i don't believe them because they don't believe me.
whats wrong with finding Red irresistible? loads of people do. Not only me. They just blame me because they... well... they hate me. i know they do.
But i think thats what triggered me, the red sky.the red sun.the red blood. i just got a little exited. i was feeling a little too independent. i even sat gapping at the red from the rising sun. i knew how it made me feel. but i didn't care at the time. nobody did. until i actually done it...