Part 1-A Concise Chinese-English Dictionary For Lovers
This extract was very hilarious. I enjoyed it a lot. The writer used spelling mistakes to show that character did not know how to speak English.
Is unbelievabal, Heathlow Airport
The writer also made sentences not make sense for the same reason.
I feel little criminal but I doing nothing wrong so far. My English so bad.
I also liked the way it used the dictionary to show the definition of alien to start the story. It makes the reader want to read on. That’s what happened to me however it is only an extract.
Part 2 The End
Tension and nervousness began to spread around the room very easily. The room was completely quite except for the fidgeting with pens and pencils. Today was the day to see if all my hard work paid off. Today was the last day we were taking our GCSE’s. We were doing the last English GCSE test. I sat in the 4rth row facing the window. I was hoping badly that the topic would be autobiographies as I am really good at them. When Mr. Harrison finished handing the paper he said not to touch them and listen. As usual he was going to say his speech about cheating in a test and consequences, disqualifications and all of the test stuff. As soon as he finished he asked us to start. Surprisingly, it was autobiographies and we had to write about ourselves, our family and our achievements throughout our life.
I was the first one to finish, so I checked my work over and over again.
A month later when I got my results, I knew that all the hard work paid off in my exams as I got good results. That was The End of the hard work and exhaustion I went through, now it is time to rest.
Hi Star,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that I'm a little bit disappointed in your piece this week. The task was to be innovative, a chance to show us how crazy and imaginative your writing could be, and your piece doesn't reflect this. It tells a story, but in a linear way, and just tells the readers what's going on. As I've said in your earlier pieces, don't try and take in the whole narrative, take a snapshot instead. You could concentrate on the emotions your narrator feels before the exam starts, or the elation of the good grade on results day.
The attention to the "fidgeting with pens" was good; details really round out a piece of writing. You can embellish your work with metaphors, similes, and using descriptions which appeal to the senses.
Good luck with your next post,
Frances
Hi
ReplyDeleteI am really sorry about that my work got lost the last minute!
Hello again,
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I'm going to have to match Frances' sentiments almost exactly and can't really think of anything to add to them except to say that a very valuable activity for you might be to look through any piece of work you write and pick out the elements of it that large amounts of strangers will want to read about; what you have presented here is an anecdote rather than a work of fiction which, as Frances has stated, merely relates itself in a very linear manner, thus making it potentially interesting to people who know you, but fairly inconsequential to anyone else. I apologise if I sound overly harsh; your previous work shows great potential, but you just need to cultivate a certain discipline; you need to justify each and every sentence; this isn't important in the anecdotal nature of everyday communication...but quite crucial in fictional writing.
Good luck with your next post,
Eoghan