I don't have a problem with you compressing "stereo-" into two syllables and "being" into one; however, you need to make sure you retain the requisite 9 syllables per line for this task (i.e. x4 trochees and x1 catalesis).
This is an impassioned, forthright and individual poem, which works brilliantly on some levels. But the meter is let down by too few syllables/feet.
Lines 1 and 2: x3 trochees + 1 catalesis (i.e. missing the fourth trochee) Line 3: Perfect trochaic pentameter (with catalectic finish as required)! Well done. Line 4: This is interesting. Basically, this line goes as follows TROCHEE-CATALESIS-TROCHEE-CATALESIS (i.e. DUM-dee DUM DUM-dee DUM)
Nothing inherently wrong with the poem - it just doesn't quite meet the metric demands I placed on you...
I don't have a problem with you compressing "stereo-" into two syllables and "being" into one; however, you need to make sure you retain the requisite 9 syllables per line for this task (i.e. x4 trochees and x1 catalesis).
ReplyDeleteThis is an impassioned, forthright and individual poem, which works brilliantly on some levels. But the meter is let down by too few syllables/feet.
Lines 1 and 2: x3 trochees + 1 catalesis (i.e. missing the fourth trochee)
Line 3: Perfect trochaic pentameter (with catalectic finish as required)! Well done.
Line 4: This is interesting. Basically, this line goes as follows TROCHEE-CATALESIS-TROCHEE-CATALESIS (i.e. DUM-dee DUM DUM-dee DUM)
Nothing inherently wrong with the poem - it just doesn't quite meet the metric demands I placed on you...
Thanks for your comment,I'll be more careful in the next tasks.
ReplyDelete