Exercise 1: Iambic Pentameter
- Unforgettable moment in your Life.
- The feeling of it all is magical.
- If only this dream would last forever.
Exercise 2: Trochaic Tetrameters
- Destiny brought us together.
- Happiness is all we needed.
- I gave you my heart and my soul.
Exercise 3: Dactylic Trimeters
1. When we are together I feel alive
2. Feeling your warmth on my face gives me strength
3. Without you, life will be nothing to me.
Exercise 4: Anapestic Dimeter
- Keep my heart with you close
- Don't ever let me go
- Make us last forever
Exercise 5: Quatrain; abab; Iambic pentameters
1. Look into my eyes; tell me what you see
If I got one wish, I would make you mine.
I can feel your touch and it sets me free,
And it’s you who can make me feel just fine.
2. This feeling I have is like no other
No matter how much pain you cause to me
Just one touch and my skin feel much smoother
You’re the one, who can make me feel so free.
1. This is love; it will never end because it’s true
You just don’t want to understand me
I’ll be waiting for you; no one can be like you
If only you knew, you have the key.
2. I gave away my heart; all I got back was tears
I can’t let go of you, never will.
I keep you deep inside my heart like my fears
When you’re not here, my heart feels so ill.
erm... a liiil bit hard to read? :P LOL... fink u gta fix it up a lil... edit... n a mistake "Density brought us together" (exercise 2) isn't that menta be destiny? :S... btw :| best "love" task 17 i seen so far :P :D well done ;)
ReplyDeleteLoll..yeah sorry about the mistake.
ReplyDeletewhat do i need to fix up and how?
Anyways thanks for the comment.
:)
Hi Angel
ReplyDeleteYeah it's an interesting layout all right! Anyway -
This is a good effort but it seems a bit hit and miss with the meter.
For ex.1:
#2 works: the FEE-ling OF it ALL is MAG-i-CAL (although I'm not sure it's natural to put such emphasis on the last syllable of 'magical'), but #s 1 and 3, not so well - if you try repeating it out loud with the stress on ever second syllable, I think you'll see why... un-FOR-gett-AB-le MO-ment IN your LIFE...that's not how you would naturally say the phrase, right?
Ex. 2:
Likewise, the natural rhythm of the words is really strained here. You would more likely say 'DES-ti-ny BROUGHT us to-GETH-er' or 'HAPP-i-ness...' which is dactylic(ONE two three), not trochaic (ONE two)
Ex 3.
All these have one syllable too many: there are supposed to be 9 per line but you have 10. ASide from this, #2 is good, it has the right rhythm: 'FEEL-ing your WARMTH on my FACE gives me'...but #1 and 3 not so much. 'WHEN we are TO ge-ther' is a lot less natural than 'when WE are to-GETH-er', right?
Ex 4.
#1 works. #2 and 3, not so much, for the same resons. Just try saying it out loud, putting the stress where it's supposed to be, and see if it sounds natural to your ears. 'Don't ev-ER let me GO' - it doesn't really work, does it?
The same advice would go for your quatrains..you have the abab structure fine, but the meter is a bit dodgy. A bit more practice with the exercises and I'm sure it'll all come together, keep at it!
The content of your poems were really interesting to read and you could feel the emotions.You just need to work on the meter of your poems but you had a bit of a disadvantage because you weren't here when we did iambs and trochees and if you were it would have been easier for you.
ReplyDeleteExercise 1: right number of syllables, but if you read them aloud stressing the even syllables (2,4,6,8,10) you will see that some strange sounds are stressed. Do you see what I mean? Line 2 is great though - as claire_a says...
ReplyDeleteExercise 2: Your first two lines are PERFECT. Line 3 is almost perfect, but ends with an iamb...
Exercise 3: One two many syllables in each line; other than that, though, lines 2 and 3 seem spot on, even if "TOgether" sounds odd in Line 1. (Shouldn't it be "toGEther"?)
Exercise 4: Line 1 is spot on! Lines 2 and 3 less so though, as claire points out.
Exercise 5: Look at the second line of your second quatrain: "No matter how much pain you cause to me" This is a PERFECT iambic pentameter. All you need to do is work out WHY it is, and why the other lines are NOT, and you are sorted! :)
Exercise 6: Lines 2 and 4 of the second quatrain seem pretty spot on to me, so, like with Exercise 5, you just need to learn from those two lines and replicate elsewhere... :)
Excellent effort, all round. You are making vast improvements all the time, and this is a VERY tricky task...