New Years Eve
1. As it strikes twelve, fireworks are released
Celebrations as we start a new year
Resolutions as we turn a new leaf
2. New Year is known as a new start
Fun and celebration all night
Smile as the next year approaches
3. Slowly waiting for the clock to chime
Smiles and love is spread through the party
Fireworks explode through the area
4. Years always begin fresh
Hope as we start the year
Smiles as we celebrate
5. As the clock on the wall chimes at midnight
Fireworks are released in the cold air
The sky above you is sparkling and bright
Some people enjoy there evening of song and prayer
6. Sparkle and laughter all around
As the new year begins
Cheers and tears released from the ground
The place is filled with grins
( I am deeply apologetic about the lateness of my post)
Hey giggly angel,
ReplyDeleteThis task seems very difficult. I remember doing this same type of assignment as a second year university student and found it difficult then. Poetry is still difficult for me sometimes, though it gets easier the more I practice writing it.
You’ve chosen a good theme, and an appropriate one for this time of year, to connect each of the 6 exercises together. However, your rhythm and meter are erratic. Like in the first exercise, the 2nd and 3rd lines sound more anapestic, and some of the feet in the second exercise seem dactylic. In these exercises, maybe you’re trying to use words with too many syllables to begin with.
When I'm writing poetry like this, I find it very helpful to read it out loud and over emphasize the accents. I also make accent marks over the accented syllables so I can visually see where they should be. The more you practice with different rhythms and meters, the easier it will be.
I know I haven’t given you very specific feedback here, just general comments to assist you in poetry writing. But I know your next task is to re-write this assignment, so please ask me if you have questions on any exercise in particular.
Thanks for posting, and I'll look forward to reading your next task!
I am not going to make specific comments either, because - good though your ideas and images are - you appear to be struggling with each exercise.
ReplyDeleteI strongly recommend you:
* read shiningstar's and scarlet-kyuubi's attempts at Task 17;
* read the other attempts and, especially, the moderators comments on them
* read some of the early tasks (and listen to the podcasts too).
If you are still stuck with redrafting for Task 18, speak to Mrs Ali or myself at school and we will help you get there. OK?