Excercise 1: Iambic Pentameters
A brand new space of which to make my own
To meet new people and make new friends
To get to know my new way around town
Excercise 2: Trochaic Tetrameters
What colour should we paint the walls?
What chair should we put in the room?
At what time does Ikea close?
What room should we redecorate?
Excercise 3: Dactylic Trimeters
Moving house. Re-placing. Different.
Stressful yet hopeful, not looking back.
Excercise 4: Anapestic Dimeters
Time to move. A new start.
Are you scared? Well don't be.
Start to pack. Then un-pack.
Excercise 5: Quatrain; Abab; Iambic Pentameters
Our new house, in the middle of our street
With trips to and fro to the new Ikea
With it's new rhythm, a different new beat
We shall celebrate, bring on new years!!!
Excercise 6:Quatrain; abab; anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter/anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter.
Usually, you will find it is weird moving in
You think of the persons moving out
Packing and un-packing is a sin
And yet i'm excited that's what it's all about!
The End.
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteI like the theme you've got going here, there's a lot of interesting emotions you bring in of change, moving on, etc.
There are a couple of technical difficulties at points, though. You have the idea of 'pentameter','tetrameter',trimeter' and 'dimeter' down fine for the most part, i.e. you have the right amount of syllables. But the use of iambs, trochees, dactyls, and anapests, i.e. where you PUT the stress, is a bit off at times.
For example:
Ex. 1: a BRAND new SPACE of WHICH to MAKE my OWN.
This is great - without putting the stress on 'new' in the middle of it!
Like wise in Ex 1.#2 'New' puts stress on what should be an unstressed syllable. And there's one syllable missing in this line ('To meet new people and to make new friends' would be more accurate)
Ex. 2 - I'm afraid instead of trochees you've got iambs here: funnily enough, you have managed four lines of really great IAMBIC tetrameter! TROCHAIC tetrameter is the opposite way round, it begins with a stress, eg
COL-ours PAINT-ed ON the CEI-ling
In ex.3, #1 works better than 3#1 - you can hear the stress in the first of the three-syllable groups more - but it is a bit artificial to say:
MOV-ing house, RE-placing, DIFF-erent. (We are more likely to say: mov-ing HOUSE. re-PLACE-ing. DIFF-erent)
Ex 4 mostly works, but again, try reading it out loud to yourself: 'well don't be'? I think this is stretching the natural intonation a bit. (Well don't be)
The poems seem to have caused you a bit of trouble - i know it SEEMS like a bigger deal than the one-line exercises, but really it's no more difficult, so no need to worry.
Ex. 5 #2: Remember your iambs. It's the same beat as saying 'hello' 5 times over:
helLO helLO helLo helLO helLO.
The first line here works well but then you seem to lose the iambs a bit.
In the last poem, you've reversed the last two lines, switching tetrameter for trimeter (which is a perfectly valid way to make a poem too, just thought i'd draw your attention to it!) Again, there seems to be a problem of where you place the stress. Anapests have a rhythm like saying 'are we late' - so check that against your lines - would you really read it as ' pack-ing AND un-pack-ING is a SIN'?
Please don't find this discouraging though - a lot of what you've got here is good, and these are tricky, finicky little things to master. I find reading a lot of examples and reading your own out loud to be the most helpful thing. Good work, keep at it! :o)
thank you again claire
ReplyDeleteExercise 1: Your unhelpful italics aside, as claire says, you are almost there with these (although, grammatically, I'm not convinced Line 1 actually makes sense).
ReplyDeleteExercise 2: Right number of syllables, but look (and listen) again: does the emphasis REALLY sound right on the odd (1,3,5,7) syllables alone (as is the case with trochaic verse)?
Exercise 3: Again, right number of syllables, but with awkward emphases...
Exercise 4: See claire's comments here (nothing to add from me)
Exercise 5: as claire says, this one needs a LOT of reworking. Look at shiningstar's attempts if you want a good example...?
Exercise 6: you're struggling with these anapests too - and, again, a look at shiningstar's might do you the world of good.
That you are struggling with these exercises is a GOOD thing in my eyes, as it is evidence you are working at a task with sufficient stretch and challenge. All that remains now is for you to learn from all the comments made and master it all for Task 18... :)