Testing the Water
(Jerry timidly caresses the screen of his computer, revealing the shape of a feminine figure whilst Elisa sits with legs crossed in living room, doors closed)
Jerry: She does like me… doesn’t she? I mean she really does at least pay some sort of attention to me, right?
Elisa: Oh yeah… in the same way that a dog notices the cat its chasing is slightly cross eyed
Jerry: But you don’t understand, I’m absolutely sure that she has an infatuation with me, I mean look at her picture.
(Jerry points to the screen where a socialising website displays the figure posing with chin leant on her palms)
Jerry: That can’t be faked; she’s looking right at me.
Elisa: Hmph… In the same way a harlot smiles at a stranger
Jerry: Your wrong, you don’t-
Elisa: I’m wrong? I’m wrong?! Dear boy I’m only trying to steer you in the right direction, so don’t you go around this god forsaken planet accusing your one and only guardian angel of being “wrong” about this rather blunt, unrespectful and uneducated street licker!
(Jerry Shrivels back, and curls up slightly)
Jerry: No. But-
Elisa: More buts?! Do I have to spell out your life to you? Just in case you haven’t noticed, you are; a middle aged single man, you are balding, you have a beer belly the size of Vesuvius, and to top it all off you have the same angelic looks of a mangled gorilla.
(Jerry hangs his head in disappointment)
Elisa: You see? Even when the tables are turned against you in this world, I’m still here looking after your sorry, unwanted gluteus maximus. I am the only one whom cares for you.
(Door to the room bursts open and shouts of love pierce the thickened inhuman atmosphere that has pervaded the room)
Laura: Jerry! Jerry! What on earth are you doing here on your own?
Jerry: I’m not alone… Elisa is sitting right there
(Jerry points to bed which is empty)
Laura: Elisa? Who the…
(Laura looks around puzzled and bemused)
Laura: Jerry, there really isn’t anybody here, I think you might have imagined her…
Elisa: Don’t listen to her! She can see me perfectly well, she just wants to end close friendship. I’m the only one who truly cares about you.
Laura: Jerry, I think I should take you to the do-
Jerry: No! No! Leave me alone! Elisa and I are discussing some issues and we need our privacy. Just Leave Me Alone!
(Jerry stamps both feet on the floor and shakes his head wildly with what little hair he has left)
Laura: Jerry…
Jerry: Just GO!
Hi Life,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the twist ending of your piece this task. Elisa is convincing as a real person, not just an imaginary friend. Elisa made me giggle too, I think I might add 'uneducated street licker' to my library of insults.
In the beginning, I thought Jerry and Elisa were teenagers, I didn't realise his age until Elisa said he was middle aged. I'm not sure how old I think Elisa is, her voice seems younger than Jerry's, but I'm not quite sure what you want me to think. I'm also unsure about Laura. She is necessary to the story, to reveal that Elisa isn't real, but is she his daughter? Housekeeper? Friend? You say 'shouts of love', so maybe she is his wife? You could slip this into the stage direction, no more dialogue needed and then I think that whole section would be a bit clearer.
I really like your idea and I think you've executed it well. I like the impression you give of Jerry isolating himself, going on dating sites and talking only with Elisa whilst he rejects the real people around him. Good work!