Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Debut: Unwanted Birth?

Catastrophe. Was this the only way to describe my deep pool of emotion? Must this have been the premiere of my life as a new born child? Must I have encountered the circle of life at all? Why would I not be allowed to just stay in this protected atmosphere and environment. My cocoon. Me just waiting to emerge from my mother’s womb. Was I ready for such an unexpected stage? Or most importantly… was my owner? What joys of life would I experience as a real person… or at least, baby? Point: I LIKE IT BETTER HERE! End of.
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2 comments:

  1. englishguru8 November 2007 at 13:39

    100 words exactly. Well done!

    I love this little piece of writing. I love the way it works towards its conclusion; I love the slightly stroppy tone of it all; and I love the ending, which I think is very effective.

    The only flaws, then, are:
    1) only 138 syllables (I think) so there is room for more polysyllabic words
    2) Lots of metaphor, but could there be more alliteration???

    Great stuff though... :)

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  2. sugadust9 November 2007 at 08:33

    thanks sir :) ill redraft and post again soon!

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