Jerry: Why did you say you told him yesterday?
Emma: I don't know i was puzzled and afraid
Jerry: You were never a toy for fun and play
Emma: Then why did i feel constantly Betrayed?
Jerry: Without you my heart will completely die
Emma: Tell me, what did you ever see in me?
Jerry: I saw a gem in your small brownish eye
Emma: If I said marry me; would you agree?
Jerry: I couldn't it just wouldn't feel quite right
Emma: So what was all those afternoons for then?
Jerry: Our private afternoons? They were alright
Emma: I hate you sometimes...you typical men!
Jerry: Well atleast I admitted I love you
Emma: Then how come you could never say 'I do'?
Sir, im not sure if i remembered everything but the italics part is the things i changed :-)
ReplyDeleteFirstly, your iambic pentameters:
ReplyDeleteLines 1-4: mostly excellent (apart from 'never' in Line 3)
Lines 5-8: excellent
Lines 9-12: mostly excellent (apart from 'typical' in Line 12)
Lines 13-14: almost there (apart from 'at least' in Line 13)
As for the content of your poem, it really gets to the heart of the characters' motivation and is an excellent response to the play. Well done! :)