(After another horrific nights sleep the princess goes to complain to her prince)
Princess: Oh, I do wish your mother would stop sticking peas underneath my matress, How many times do i have to tell her? I am a princess!
Prince: Oh, I am sorry love, but the way you was eating at dinner yesterday, I'm not suprised she doesn't think you're a princess.
Princess: Excuse me, I did not just hear you talking to me like that, I eat how I want to eat and if your stuck up mother has a problem with that then thats her problem.
Prince : My mummy is not stuck up, she is a perfect human being, and she is just doing the best for me. If you have a problem, well then I have a problem with you.(Tries to act angry)
Princess: Oh shut up you little mummys boy, ever since I got here she doesn't believe a word I've said, and all she ever does is praise you and give you all the attention I mean, gosh!
Prince: So what, just because you're not getting all the attention doesn't mean I shouldn't! (starting to cry)
Princess: You killed her dog and yet she still gave you a big hug.
Prince: That was an accident. (Crying lots) Bruce was too small I couldn't see him.
Princess: He was as big as your horse.
(The prince starts to cry even more.)
Princess: Oh come here you great big fairy, calm down come on. (gives the prince a hug)
Prince: I didn't mean for, for bruce to die.
Princess: I know, I know don't worry, everythings going to be ok.
Prince: Promise
Princess: Promise, As long as she stops sticking pea's underneath my matress.
Prince: Ok.
Hi Giggly_angel
ReplyDeleteI think there's an interesting idea you pick up on here - that of the 'true princess' which is in its way a very snobby sort of concept. It's good how you make fun of that, making your reader think about the value society places on trivial or superficial things like table manners, and how these things can be used to mark out class divides.
However, I would like to see more of you brining out that idea. Instead the focus of the piece seems to shift to how the prince killed his mother's dog, which doesn't seem to have an obvious point, and because this is a parody of a fairytale, I found myself initially thinking 'what dog? what fairytale is that in?' whereas in fact it's an outside reference.
There also seem to be issues here of an arranged marriage where the two partners don't get on at all, in fact where one of them seems alarmingly infantile. I couldn't really get a handle on the relationship between the prince and princess, though it seems there are a lot of issues there that you might want to bring out a bit more.
keep it up :o)
claire
I agree: there's a lot of potential here, which you don't quite bring out to the full. It's the germ of a wonderfully original subversion of the original tale, but you need to decide firmly on the direction it is going to take before you begin.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back on the blog though. Well done - and long may it last! :)
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI really like the abrupt way this ends, with the prince's submissive "OK". It suggests how easily distracted the prince is, and the manipulative nature of the princess - very subversive of the traditional fairytale convention of the wife being more suppliant!
I agree that the dog incident detracts from the character-based pull of the story, but it does provide a narrative arc, which is important. We need to see the shift in power between the two - perhaps the shift could be provided by something more "fairytale-like", in order for this to be more clearly a subversion of the fairytale genre.
This has great details and is entertaining - well done. I look forward to your next piece.
Penny