Prince Charming: Well this is it. (Kisses sleeping beauty. She smiles, opens her eyes and looks at Prince Charming with disgust)
Sleeping beauty: Ergh! Yuk, what you do that for?
Prince Charming: I woke you up from your sleep.
Sleeping Beauty: I didn’t want to be woken up. (Looks annoyed) Who are you anyway?
Prince Charming: I’m Prince Charming
SB: (snorts) Prince charming, are you eh?
PC: Are you mocking me?
SB: Are you mocking- your gonna cry aint ya.
PC: No. (Sniff sniff)
SB: You big girl’s blouse.
PC: No I’m not.
SB: Yes you are.
PC: No I’m not.
SB: Yes you are!!
PC: I’m not!!
SB: Oh just shut your cake hole will ya and stop whining like a big baby. Where your backbone- actually on second thoughts don’t answer that.
PC: You’re not how I expected you to be
SB: Expect the unexpected. (Starts to laugh)
PC: I can see that. (Talks quietly, looking down at his feet)
SB: Well what did you expect? A sweet lady-like princess that will be swept off her feet after seeing you the great Prince Charming, that is your name right?
PC: Yes, Prince Charming
SB: Well? Is that what you expected?
PC: Well yes indeed I did.
SB: Well you got a bit of a shock then, haven’t ya?
PC: Yes I have indeed.
SB: God you’re so posh. What’s wrong wi ya? .Loosen up a bit. (Waves her arms and legs wildly)
PC: (Looks shocked at the Princess’ behaviour) Well it was the way I was brought up you see –
SB: Spare me the sob story.
PC: Sorry.
SB: (Mimics his accent) One doesn’t want to hear your stupid babyish story alright.
PC: (Sniff) why are you so mean?
SB: (mimics the prince) Why are you so mean? Oh, piss off .I’m kinda tired. You disturbed a really good dream you know. I was on stage and Pete Doherty kissed me .Like propa full on kiss and then you, you snotty little weed had to come a spoil it!
PC: I’m sorry. (Begins to well up again)
SB: Sorry? Like that is really gonna bring my dream back is it? By saying sorry .Do one will ya? I’m tired I haven’t been up for this long in 100 years.
PC: You want me to leave? (Looks taken aback)
SB: Well duh!
PC: Oh, I guess one mustn’t outstay their welcome.
SB: No, one must not.
PC: Oh ok.
SB: Hmm.
PC: Yes.
SB: Well go then!
PC: What you really mean it. (Looks horrified)
SB: Yeah!!
PC: (Sniff) Oh Ok. Well I bid you good day madam.
SB: Just go, your wasting my time, time that could be spent catching up on beauty sleep. You should try it sometimes.( Looks him up and down and raises her eyebrows)
PC: (Looks at his feet) Good bye fair lady.
SB: ZZZZzzzzzzzz!!!
PC: I really thought she was the one. (Sighs and makes his way home).
This is fantastic - seriously. And so unlike anything else you've posted to date.
ReplyDeleteIt is totally subversive, highly original and wonderfully varied in style and tone. You demonstrate a fluency and confidence with language which seems totally relaxed, and it was a joy to read. Above all, you've taken risks, and it has paid off.
I love your characters too; both of them.
Well done!
Hey,
ReplyDeleteThis has a perfect arc to the story. We're supplied with a set of expectations - much as the prince is - of what this perfect fairytale will be, only to have them expertly subverted with Sleeping Beauty's waking. This tension is continued evenly to the end, with that great final line. Well done.
In order to play with the audience's expectations a bit more, it would be lovely to see, perhaps, the prince talking to himself before he wakes the princess, thinking how perfect their inevitable marriage will be. This will up the tension, and mean that the turning point in the story - which is really the princess' waking and showing herself to be different from expected - comes closer to the middle.
Great work - delicately drawn. Looking forward to the next one.
Penny
Hi Shiningstar, I really like this, especially the mix of the two registers - the Prince's and Sleeping Beauty's. Penny's suggestion would be interesting and add some depth and backstory to the scene we see played out here. Very funny - well done.
ReplyDeleteHello Shiningstar,
ReplyDeleteYes, this is excellent, there are some classic comic moments and lots of depth.
Above all, you have subverted the traditional characters right from the start, changing Sleeping Beauty from a passive character supposed to be grateful to her man into something much more relevant and modern. Both characters are likeable and very believable.
I especially liked the comparison between PC and Pete Doherty.
You've brought something of a pantomime element to the piece with the 'No I'm not'/ 'Oh yes you are' dialogue and the language generally seems right.
I can see Sleeping Beauty being a Catherine Tate character.
Well done!
OMG!!Thank you for your FAB comments.This was my favourite task and so I found it much easier since I really enjoyed it. Thanks again
ReplyDelete