Cinderella is sitting on her bed when her Mum comes banging on her door. She anounces that she has found yet another new baby sitter.
Cinederella(on phone): grr bloody parents, when will they learn i can look after my self. (pauses) I'll call you in about half an hour, that should be enough time to scare off mum's latest.(puts phone down and walks towards the door.) What now woman?
Mum: Cinderella this is...
Cinderella: My name is Cindy! geeze mother you named me you'd think you would have got it right by now.
Mum: Fine then. Cindy this is Mary Poppins.(mary poppins steps forwards) She is the woman off the telly,you know on that show...
Mary Poppins: super nanny.
Mum: yeah that one. Well the show got axed so i hired her to whip you into shape.
Cindy(laughs): Oh please mother, we have gone through 36 nannys in the past 4 months and you bring an old lady to my room.(turns hysterical).the only thing she is whipping is the cream for cakes.
Mum(tuts):you see what i have to put up with.
Mary Poppins:its ok mrs Bella,i can handle it.you and your husband have a good time now.
(mum exits)
(Cinderella waits for her mum to go then attempts to shut door in Mary Poppins face. Mary Poppins puts her foot in the way.)
Cindy: Nice try old lady (slams door shut, and retreats to her bed intending to continue phone call)
Mary Poppins (laughs): Who said I was trying? (pulls umberella out of bag and blows open the door cindy's bedroom).
Cindy (sniggers): Do you always carry C4 in your bag, or is your breath really that bad?
Mary Poppins: C4 is convenient but it leaves terrible mess afterwards and i suppose thier are other ways.
Cindy (concerned): other ways for what?
Mary Poppins(advancing towards cindy): Come on now Cindy. I can't stand you little misbehaved, ill-manerd brats or that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious junk. Its so boring, and at my time of life i need something hmm... entertaining. so I thought what better way to solve a problem than to erase it completely.
Cindy(stuttered):wwhat doo youu mean...
Mary Poppins: killing children dosen't make for good television, not to mention good reviews. so when one moany parent complained her child had been set alight and hit for a home run with a baseball bat, the producer said he felt it best we 'terminate our current contract agrement'. I mean the little thing just slept all day, even when I was talking to him. Thats just plain disrespect if you ask me and besides it wasn't even a full swing; i'd say more a 2nd base shot.
Cindy (shocked): You mean to say it was you that killed Sleepy.
Mary Poppins:And Sneezy, Dopey, Doc, Bashful...oh and Grumpy but i dont think he was too happy about it. besides I prefer to think of it of erasing Britians pest problem.
Cindy: how could you?
Mary Poppins: It's like ridding a bike: at first it seems difficult but after that there's no stopping me.a sort of routine now, every child must have thier own 'medicine'.
Cindy: No! Please not me. I'm just a young girl, it's all down to my hormones, I can change.
Mary Poppins: it's to late to say sorry!
Cindy(sobs): I truly promise i'll never ever be bad again. (sits on floor and begins to rock bak and forward)
(Mary Poppins advances closer towards Cindy. She kneels down beside her. Mary's head moves closser and she wispers)
Mary Poppins (whispers):Job done! now the healing can begin....
Hey, Sparky,
ReplyDeleteYou've made me chuckle with that one. Well done. You subvert the genre, and the character's you've chosen reference each other, and stuff from popular culture, really well. Ace stuff.
Also, I can see you've taken stuff on board about the conventions of script writing. It's all nicely clear (even the bit about C4, which is nuts :]). Your 'it's like riding a bike' line is cruel, unusual, and well chosen, as is:'It's all down to my hormones.'
I think sometimes you have to be careful about what's most sinister in the staging. The way you hint at violence is great, but when it becomes explicit it loses some of its impact, like the vivid flaming baseball batting bit. It's good for the '2nd base' line, but it takes away some of the tension by turning the danger into a bit of a joke too, even before the end. So I'd maybe try to hint more at what Mary has done before Cindy freaks out, rather than stating graphically how she works, or if you need to have Cindy bring it up so we see that it's her paranoia developing.
Similarly I think Cindy should begin her descent into fear after Mary blows open the door, cos that's really where she shows how scary she can be, even before she describes it. So maybe you could afford to lose the C4 reference and have her begin to get scared instead.
Anyway, that's just some suggestions, but it does work well with the brief, and I look forwrd to seeing whatever you do next. Well done,
Andy
Hi Sparky
ReplyDeleteThis was mean, menacing and believable - and just the right amount of menace. The dialogue between the characters is realistic too.
And it's great that two traditionaly 'sweet' characters have been turned so mean!
Some ideas really... How about when Mary P is talking to Cindy, she could produce some really terrifying weapons from her bag to illustrate her point? Mary P could even have a couple of practice swings with the bat that she despatched Sleepy with! It depends if you want to take this into some sort of black humorous dirction or not.
And what about Cindy being more combatative until she realises that Mary P is serious about what she says she has done/is going to do? So just a couple of ideas for you to think about, really.
But did enjoy it and could see the characters onstage throughout all of it.
Best wishes
ann g
Thoroughly original and enjoyable from start to finish: well done!
ReplyDeleteI especially like the way that not only have you been able to subvert three different archetypes (Cinders, Mary Poppins and the dwarves) but even a modern icon in Super Nanny. Fresh, bold stuff!
I feel obliged to point out that Cinders lives with her stepmother (her mum and dad having died). Giving her both her parents seems like a somewhat boring subversion as it is...