Only Bad thoughts ran through his head
Which was fear and dread...
Which was fear and dread...
He felt like a worn out cup... but
As he took that step, the crowd stood up;
His heart was the beat of a wild drum.
He thinks he is known as a s**m
His heart was the beat of a wild drum.
He thinks he is known as a s**m
There is no way out, the chief chose HIM
He felt weird... gay weird;
As he came out with a grim face and
As he came out with a grim face and
He saw the love of the fans.
The way they scream... all for him
The fear went and in came a smile
As he walks to the pitch in style.
well done.I thought that it was a great poem.I loved the way you described his feelings.Good work
ReplyDeleteThank you... And sir, i haven't got word on my computer yet so i couldn't count properly im not sure if it's 100 words cause' i kept getting 99, 100, 99 when i counted...
ReplyDeleteGreat work.xD
ReplyDeleteLove the use of very 'interesting' description. LOL.
And I like the 'worn out cup' bit.
Not everybody refers to themselves like that.
Love it.
^^
Words: 99 = 4/5
ReplyDeleteSyllables: all monosyllabic - well done! = 5/5
Figurative language: one simile and a couple of metaphors (though they disappear in the second half) = 3/5
Auditory language: You have worked hard at rhyme (although I meant for students to write in prose not poetry), but I was looking for more alliteration. 2/5
Structure: Good attempt to work towards a climax (although I'm not sure about some of your vocab choices along the way...) = 2/5
Total 16/20.
Well done.