The hairs on his neck stood on end as he watched the clocks hand pace around its face. The thoughts in his head spun round as if in a race. He felt a drop of sweat trickle down his head. Sound of foot steps awoke him from his day dreams and terror rushed through his body like a snake. Today was his big day, tonight was his big night, his first fight. The knock on the door was like the chimes of the church bells. He rolled the white tape around his hands and slid the gloves on his fists.
wooops :O i fink i made sum mistakes... syllables ryt?
ReplyDeleteGood work!! :) i really like it but you just need to work on the syllables.
ReplyDeleteSyllables; A few mistakes but nothing you couldn't fix. :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you managed to fit a metaphor/simile in nearly every sentence.
Great control.
Just like the boxer in your poem.
^^
Words: 100 = 5/5
ReplyDeleteSyllables: approx 8 words with more than one syllable = 0/5
Figurative language: it's literally full of powerful imagery. Well done! = 5/5
Auditory language: Some good, subtle use of rhyme, but room for more alliteration perhaps? = 3/5
Structure: Effective, systematic build-up to your climax. Well done! 4/5
Overall = 17/25
And on your first task too! :)
skn
ReplyDeletelol jokin i like it :D buh i noticed some words that were NOT one sylable :( *disapointment* lol haha jokin dadlin i love yu relee keep it up... BEGINER :D:P
Sugadust seems to be "high"....
ReplyDelete