pride and joy rush through me
but the task ahead leaves me numb
theres a first for everything i tell myself,
then the thought of my mum:
her striking voice rings through my body
a call i cannot answer
but the cheers of the lane make me
feel better a whole lot faster.
But this boy from leyton,a wonder kid?
or a little dreamer with bite
it dose not matter what i did
all that counts is tonight
so with the cockerel infront
and Mr Jol behind
i took my steps
into another life:
a life at the lane
theres a first for everything i tell myself,
then the thought of my mum:
her striking voice rings through my body
a call i cannot answer
but the cheers of the lane make me
feel better a whole lot faster.
But this boy from leyton,a wonder kid?
or a little dreamer with bite
it dose not matter what i did
all that counts is tonight
so with the cockerel infront
and Mr Jol behind
i took my steps
into another life:
a life at the lane
Trying to figure out if this is prose or poetry - but, either way, you are clearly making lots of (very effective) use of rhyme, which is good.
ReplyDeleteI also like the way you build up to your climax - keeping us engaged throughout. Similarly, there's some excellent use of metaphor on several occasions. Very well done! :)
The one drawback: 124 syllables (when you were aiming for 100). Task 12 is the one to experiment with longer, more complex (and polysyllabic) words...