Exercise 1: iambic pentameters
I’m glad I could escape your clingy web
The truth was found beneath a shield of lies
I hate the fact that I was so naïve
Exercise 2: trochaic tetrameters
Brainwashed; you were my obsession
Tempted by your male charisma
Blinded; couldn’t see the damage
Exercise 3: dactylic trimeters
I’ll never make the same misjudgment
Cautious and scared to trust anyone
You left my heart clothed in scars and burns
Exercise 4: Anapestic Dimeters
Now I’m free of your spell
I can live my own life
My whole world’s looking bright
Exercise 5: Quatrain; abab; iambic pentameters
Although I’m free from your abusive grip
I can’t forget the hell you put me through
That’s why sometimes I let a few tears slip
No pill can cure this pain induced by you
Exercise 6: Quatrain; abab; anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter/anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter.
I just wish you could feel what it’s like to be slain
By the one that you love and adore
But I know that fate will give you all of the pain
You deserve and a few troubles more
Hi Scarlet kyuubi
ReplyDeleteWell done on the perfect iambic pentameter and trochaic tetrameter stanzas which work in terms of sense and naturalness and voice as well as metre. The dactylic trimeters also work well though the natural stresses in speech would sometimes go against the pattern of the metre (we’d naturally say ‘I’d NEVer make the same misjudgement’ not ‘I’LL never make...’). The pentameter quatrain is excellent again, much better, frankly, than I could have done. The metre is slipping a bit in the anapaestic quatrain – ‘fate’ wants to be stressed but that isn’t how the words are arranged but on the whole a really excellent job. Well done!
anjali
Hi Scarlet-kyuubi
ReplyDeleteI really loved the flow of this. Good use of semi-colons to stop that flow and show the reader why brainwashed and the result of being blinded.Repetition of the word 'free' in exercises 4 and 5. Could you find another word for one of the frees? This would make the poem read even better.Really good last second lines. You have really got some rhythm, some beat into this, and it can be felt.
Well done!
ann g
Your iambs and trochees and anapests are brilliant.
ReplyDeleteLess sure about your dactyls though:
1. this is pretty much iambic, but without the final stressed syllable: "i'll NEVer MAKE the SAME misJUDGment"
2. great
3. you actually have two iambs either side of a spondee (a foot with only one syllable, which is stressed): "you-LEFT my-HEART CLOTHED in-SCARS and-BURNS"
Exercise 5: apart from "sometimes", this is spot on.
Exercise 6: almost perfect, although I think a word like "fate" needs stressing, don't you?
Typically great work, but room for some fine tuning here, I reckon. Love your trochees though! :)