Friday, 4 January 2008

Task 17, Love

Exercise 1: Iambic Pentameters
  • "I'm the dying fire and you're my fuel"
  • "My searching love overflows this eager heart"
  • "My thoughts, mere reminiscences of you"

Exercise 2: Trochaic Tetrameters
  • "Oh the sensation; first kiss"
  • "Do your hair and masticate a tic tac"
  • "The sunsets near and just us here"
Exercise 3: Dactylic Trimeters
  • "Its true love that hurts most to us "
  • "My darling I'm ever so lonely"

Exercise 4: Anapestic Demeters

  • "Beautiful yet highly greatly ugly "
  • "Defined but completely abstract"

Exercise 5: Quatrain; abab; iambic pentameters

  1. "Holding hands throughout the warm summer winds.
    Kissing gleefully in the wet cool rain.
    At last they became more then just friends.
    and then the slow ride back aboard the train."
Exercise 6: Quatrain; abab; anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter/anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter.

  1. "When the world seems harsh and its upside down
    Your confused and your lost but keep going
    Then there must surely be hatred around
    but when love is here you've earned your crown"

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6 comments:

  1. eternity.forever.5 January 2008 at 08:32

    Good work Fizzy.
    You've captured love in the most simplest of words and they paint such descriptive pictures.
    Problem with some rhyming in Exercise 5&6 though, but I'll let you spot them. ;D

    ReplyDelete
  2. sugadust5 January 2008 at 13:22

    LMAO loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool mwahahahahahahahahahahaha
    ur jokes loooll
    it was gd dow... better den myn :(
    mayb next task then =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fizzy5 January 2008 at 15:06

    LOL wellll i aint gd at poems :|... specialllyyy onez wid rulez... :|... soo :( nt my fault lol AND ima boy :D... datz a disadvantage galz r beta wid poems :|.. mostly :P lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. ann g7 January 2008 at 08:34

    Hi Fizzy
    You've looked at love from different points of view in each verse - emotion, pesonal observation, others points of view, involvement in a relationship and love as an abstract saving thing. So who says boys can't write poetry??!
    Some missing apostrophes to contend with though!
    Enjoyed reading it, got a real sense of a person having experienced the emotions described.
    ann g

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  5. Shiningstar7 January 2008 at 09:48

    Well done . The content of your poem s were really good.The way described love in different ways was really skillful.I think that you just need to work on your meter because it let you down a bit.Overall it was a really good poem.

    ReplyDelete
  6. englishguru12 January 2008 at 13:39

    Exercise 1:
    Your third line is PERFECT iambically - so look at the other two and see why they are NOT. OK?

    Exercise 2:
    Read these aloud, stressing each odd syllable (i.e. 1, 3, 5, 7) and you should find they sound odd/awkward. Have a look at some other people's attempts at Exercise 2, and see what you need to do to master the tricky trochee.

    Exercise 3:
    Remember these need to be DUM-dee-dee DUM-dee-dee DUM-dee-dee
    Now read them out loud, emphasising the first, fourth and seventh syllables in each line and you should see what is wrong.

    Exercise 4: As with Exercise 3, it is reading these aloud which will highlight the errors. You are aiming for a dee-dee-DUM rhythm here...

    Exercise 5:
    Your final line is PERFECT. So hopefully that should show you why the other three don't quite fit the iambic meter.

    Exercise 6:
    Look again at the task and at my examples (as well as some other people's attempts too). You are quite a way off anapestic here. "When the world" is a perfect anapest, as is:
    "You're confused"
    "and you're lost"
    "Then there must"
    "surely be"
    "but when love"
    "earned your crown"
    But the rest strays...

    Lots of redrafting to do here, but you're more than capable of success. :)

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