Exercise 1: Iambic Pentameters
1. Competition was never an issue
2. I thought they would forever be ‘my crew’
3. I was totally wrong; this I knew.
Exercise 2: Trochaic Tetrameters
1. It wasn’t a long time ago
2. When I found out the total truth
3. I couldn’t quite get over it
Exercise 3: Dactylic Trimeters
1. Even now I do not understand
2. How could they be so cruel? I was blind
3. Yet one person always stood by me
Exercise 4: Anapestic Diameters
1. The greatest ever friend
2. Now a long time has passed
3. The end is almost near
Exercise 5: Quatrain; Abab; Iambic Pentameters
1. For so long I’ve lived with nothing but fear
Only one person has supported me
Now everything is totally clear
Though we’re only friends, I’m in love with thee
2. The one person I totally admire
The one who taught me how to live & dream
The one I want... the one I require
The one who will forever shine and gleam
3. I no longer understand the word friends
For only one has fulfilled all the ‘rules’
They’re all covered up like camera lens
Friendship is worth more than one thousand jewels
Exercise 6: Quatrain; Abab; Anapestic tetrameter/Anapestic Trimeter/Anapestic Tetrameter/Anapestic Trimeter.
1. What they did wasn’t right, but I no longer care
For I have found what I desire
Someone truly precious... someone extremely rare
The one who brings me higher
2. Although the end is practically next to me
I will not let her slip out of my grasp
And for her and only her I’ll be
I will never, never let her out of my clasp
I'm sorry its so late i had MAJOR computer problems :D
ReplyDeleteExercise 1: Line 2 is perfect. "Competition" and "issue" do not fit where they are in Line 1 though, and Line 3 both lacks a syllable and also misplaces "totally".
ReplyDeleteExercise 2: Right number of syllables, but these are not trochaic. To read trochaically, you would need to say:
"wasN'T"
"Ago"
"toTAL"
"couldN'T"
"oVER"
Exercise 3: Again, right number of syllables, but these are not dactylic, because:
* "underSTAND" sounds better than "UNderstand"
* "cruel" and "blind" are too important to be thrown away on an unstressed syllable
* Get rid of "Yet" and put a "right" after "stood", and this line will just about work.
Exercise 4: Line 2 is perfect; Line 1 only works if we say "greatEST", but we don't; and Line 3 sounds wrong stressing "is" rather than "end"
Exercise 5: You're getting there with some of these lines, although you must be careful that all words fit the iambic rhythm. For example:
1.1 = three trochees followed by two iambs
1.2 = one trochee followed by three iambs
1.4 = one iamb, one trochee, then three iambs
Stanza 2 is better, although line 3 is missing a syllable.
And in Stanza 3 words like "understand" and "fulfilled" and "covered" and "camera" and "friendship" are placed where the wrong syllable is stressed. Do you see what I mean?
Exercise 6: Line 1 of the first stanza is perfect, but you seem to lose the anapests thereafter. Again, it is down to words just being at the wrong point in the line to fit that particular rhythm.
It's such a shame you weren't able to submit this by the 5th January deadline, as it means you are not going to benefit from the redrafting opportunities of Task 18. If you are even vaguely unclear about iambic meter in particular, you MUST come and find me this week to explain it to you again before you attempt Task 19. OK?
Ok sir :D
ReplyDeleteHey, TeleTubbiez.
ReplyDeleteThanks for getting around to sharing your work. Sorry to hear about your IT problems.
Englishguru has addressed some of the more detailed, technical elements of your various attempts, so I’ll just make a few general comments. I like the fact that you’ve tried to transform these exercises into poems, so that each line follows on logically from the one before. It makes them much more interesting to read than a bunch of unrelated lines produced according to the rules of poetic form. Your attempts feel personal and lively and, despite the odd slip up, I do believe that you are developing an understanding of form. With practice, I’m sure you’ll be a dab hand!
Thanks a lot,
Helen
:D:D:D:D THANK U
ReplyDelete