Exercise 1: Iambic Pentameter
- The feeling of it all is magical
- The way you smile, it makes the world so bright
- It was the time for you and me as one
Exercise 2: Trochaic Tetrameters
- Destiny brought us together
- Happiness is all we needed
- I gave you my heart, gave you all
Exercise 3: Dactylic Trimeters
- Feeling your warmth gives me hope for us
- Nothing else matters if you are here
Exercise 4: Anapestic Dimeters
- Keep my heart with you close
- All my love is for you
- It's a dream make it true
Exercise 5: Quatrain; abab; Iambic Pentameters
1. No matter how much pain you cause to me
If only you could see my heart is yours
And without you my heart can not be free
But you can’t see and now you are all hers.
2. It’s true my life is nothing without you
The time just goes by in the thoughts of you
And I just want your love back, it’s so true
If only me and you could stick like glue.
Exercise 6: Quatrain; abab; anapestic tetrameter/anapestic trimeter/anapestic tetrameter/ anapestic trimeter
1. When you’re lost think of me, think of love, you’ll be found
I can’t let go of you, never will
I feel warm when you’re here you are always around
When you’re not here my heart feels so ill.
2. It gave life a new meaning for living; true love
But no one would understand the pain
It was real, it was love but it’s hard to think of
It was you something I can’t explain.
Well done !This is a great effort.Keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteDear Angel
ReplyDeleteThis is a big improvement, well done.
Ex 1 and 2 work well - I'm still a little doubtful about HAPP-i-ness and DES-ti-ny working as iambs or trochees instead of as dactyls, but that's a small thing!
Ex 3 and 4- you seem to have the hang of this meter nicely
Ex 5: I think 1st stanza works well, 2nd not quite so much - while the last two lines have good meter, the first two don't fully hit it. I don't think putting the stress on the WITH-out (instead of with-OUT), and on 'goes' and 'in' sits quite right.
Ex 6: the meter here too is mostly fine, but there are a couple of places: the stress on 'LET go', and in 2nd stanza, the 2nd line 'no ONE' and 'un-DER-stand' - these are a bit awkward.
However, compared to the original draft in ex 17 you have made great progress! Also I gather that you weren't around for the original explanations of how these meters work, and considering that you've really come a long way.
Thank you so much for your comments.
ReplyDeleteI'll try changing the little awkward bits like you said in Ex.6.
Once again thank you for your comments, it is very helpful.
1. Almost perfect, although I agree with claire_a that "magical appears more dactylic.
ReplyDelete2. Excellent too - but I think the last two words ("you all") are more iambic than trochaic, don't you?
3. and 4. are brilliant!!! :)
5. See claire_a's comments...
6. Attempt 2 is less secure, but 1 is great!
I am SO impressed with how you have worked SO hard to master this difficult stuff - you have improved meteorically, and should be immensely proud of yourself! :)