london has a very big clock Visable from almost every dock Whenever you need the time Take a glance to the sky Now look high above Like a flying dove See it soar And never bore Here again its Big Ben
Like the other poems, you evoke your chosen place with flair - but you haven't got the beats right, and, like everyone else, will need some more practice in the next task...
Let's look at your first line, first of all. It should be an iambic pentameter - i.e. 5 feet, each with an unstressed and then a stressed syllable (i.e. dee-DUM).
Firstly, your first line has only 8 syllables, and therefore even if it was iambic the best it would manage is a tetrameter. That aside, it is not iambic either. Stressed IAMBICALLY, it would be read as follows:
lonDON has A veRY big CLOCK
See how that does not sound right. So it is a question of finding words (and an order) which fits the iambic rhythm.
Like the other poems, you evoke your chosen place with flair - but you haven't got the beats right, and, like everyone else, will need some more practice in the next task...
ReplyDeleteLet's look at your first line, first of all. It should be an iambic pentameter - i.e. 5 feet, each with an unstressed and then a stressed syllable (i.e. dee-DUM).
Firstly, your first line has only 8 syllables, and therefore even if it was iambic the best it would manage is a tetrameter. That aside, it is not iambic either. Stressed IAMBICALLY, it would be read as follows:
lonDON has A veRY big CLOCK
See how that does not sound right. So it is a question of finding words (and an order) which fits the iambic rhythm.
On the positive side, Line 8 IS iambic! :)