Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Everybody like blood now and again

You know when your a lion like myself
you just love the sight of delightful blood.
but when you challenge a zebra with stealth,
then your good blood will rush out with a flood!

4 comments:

  1. i dont know sir, i think i got it, but if i didnt, i need you to clarify it for me at school. i still gave it a shot.

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  2. A great attempt: well done! I'm so glad you gave it a shot, and you've produced a fun and creative animal poem.

    Line 1 = is a perfect iambic pentameter.

    As for the rest, you would need to rewrite it slightly to sustain the IAMBS, e.g.

    You LOVE the SIGHT of RED, deLIGHTful BLOOD
    But WHEN a ZEBra FALLS beNEATH my STEALTH
    That RED stuff COMES toWARDS me IN a FLOOD.

    Not a great poem of mine - yours is in many ways much better - but see how mine has managed to keep to the iambic rhythm...

    Ask me in school if you need further clarification.

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  3. ye u shud re do urs ye but use sirs example but change some of the words to make it better.anywayss its gud :DDDD

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  4. congratz fatty

    dat was good!!

    :)

    ReplyDelete