The fact that i dont like this place at all
distracts me from its constant beck and call
its sirens lure me back to here
a scandal's never far from near
its full of shady folk
who swig and scowl and smoke
it's one long weight
the wait for fate
look close
no foes
Now that is fantastic. Your iambic feet are spot on, and you do not sacrifice an evocative and yet enigmatic exploration of place in the process. WELL DONE!!! I do hope the others can look at this and see how the task WAS possible. :)
ReplyDeletePlease give it a title; not always necessary, I know, but I think it might improve the poem further.
And verify the punctuation too? Even though it is a poem.
(Oh, and I am going to change the date on it to keep it with the other Task 2 poems, if you don't mind.)
Just read the poem again - and it is impressive on so many levels, beyond the requirements of the task itself, e.g. pararhyme (rhyme WITHIN lines); alliteration; paradox - and all handled with skill, sophistication and flair. Great stuff!
ReplyDelete