Sahara: WHY?!
Kashan: 'Cos you get on my bloody last nerve!
Sahara: You just never will leave me in peace will ya? Always doin' something to annoy me... going out of your way to make ME look like the damn fool... To think that I l-
Kashan: What?
Sahara: Nothing, nothing. Forget it.
Kashan: You didn't finish... To think that you what?
(Silence)
Kashan: TO THINK THAT YOU WHAT? TALK TO ME SAHARA!
Sahara: To think that I loved you, you bastard!
Kashan: I don't understand...
Sahara: Oh how unpredictable. You don't get most things you pathetic, ignorant, unaware excuse for a man!
Kashan: Technically, i'm still referred to as a teenager.
Sahara: Give it a rest will ya. All you do is make my life hell. You won't leave me alone... Kinda like bullying me I guess.. I mean why? You hated me from the start... telling all my friends that you hated me... telling YOUR friends that you hated me... I never quite got it with you, you know that?
Kashan: Most people don't.
Sahara: Do you really hate me that much? I mean it's like you take the piss out of me whenever you get the chance. And even when there isn't you still manage to find a way. I think for you the biggest embarassment of your life was knowing me. Am I right?
Kashan: No
Sahara: HA. Sure. Was it something i did wrong? Did I offend you or anythin'?
Kashan: No.
Sahara: Why the silence now?
Kashan: I never knew you felt that way.
Sahara: What way?
Kashan: Loving me.
Sahara: Well... that was a long time ago anyways... I guess.
Kashan: What about now?
Sahara: What?
Kashan: Simple question. Yes or no. Sahara... DO YOU SILL LOVE ME?
Sahara: Kashan...
Kashan: DO YOU?
Sahara: I can't answer that. Why?
Kashan: Just wondering...
Sahara: Look... I think it's best we just TRY and get along atleast... you know what I'm sayin'? Like just to get through the school days without bein sworn enemies... if that's okay with you?
Kashan: No
Sahara: Sorry? What? Why?
Kashan: 'Cos I love you Sahara
:O oooo well dun man... itz wiked... :) keep up da goood workkk sugadust :D... :) i spoted it was urs as soon as i read the first 2 lines :|...
ReplyDeletewell dun
OoOoOoO Look at You 'Fancy Pants' lol. No really, this is good. I like the way it explores a difficult relationship between a Boy and a Girl when certain things are left unsaid. Keep it Up Sabz! x
ReplyDeleteawww bubz dat was nuff sweet - i liked the way you portrayed the characters to hate one another and yet they were in love well done laav :D x
ReplyDeleteI don't normally comment, but I really liked this! I think it's really sweet, and the ending is great too [=
ReplyDeletewell done!
Hi Sugadust,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing all your hard work with us. This dialogue has a good, straightforward premise. You allow the relationship between Sahara and Kashan to take centre stage, and this tight focus allows you to immerse yourself in exploring the characters and the emotions. I think that the simplicity of this piece marks you out as a very confident writer. You clearly do not feel the need to think up gimmicks, and you rely on the strength of your writing to carry the piece. That’s very commendable, I think.
I would like to see more of a reaction in Kashan when Sahara tells him how she feels. Perhaps just a stage direction describing a half-hidden smile would be enough, but I wonder whether he might not be more shocked and pleased. I think a little something extra is necessary, anyway. At the moment, he starts being sarcastic again pretty swiftly!
I like the way that you immediately drop the audience into the action. Starting the scene in the middle of an argument or a discussion helps create instant tension and intrigue. Shakespeare himself uses this technique. See the opening of ‘Othello’ for an example. So, there we are! You must be doing something right if you’re getting compared to the Bard, eh?
Helen
An ambitious and effective piece, but I'm left a bit confused by Kashan's character, and his reasons for behaving as he did/does. Sahara is more straightforward, although I think her speeches are a little long to sustain the pace and succinctness of the exemplars. I also reckon that the ending is perhaps a little twee/trite to have that surreal/sharp edge the original Tiny Plays in THE GUARDIAN possess. Do you see what I mean?
ReplyDelete