(She sits down on her bed, reminiscing fond memories, wondering if things will ever be the same. She gets up and looks out her window looking on at the romantic young couples arm in arm wondering if she would ever find herself in that position again.)
Life’s not easy you know. Being me. The amount I went through… GOING to go through… Still AM going through. It’s unreal. I hate how I had the one for me… I knew he was. And then it just ended. Because of him. The one I loved. Love still. (Looks at the floor) I love how he treated me… the way he talked to me, the way he said he loved me. I just don’t understand why it had to end. (Tears in eye). He said we were drifting apart... Yeah right. Maybe the fact that I wasn't as pretty as all the other girls or as popular... or the fat that my parents were the most strict and over protective people you could ever meet; not allowing me to go anywhere out late. As if that’s the only thing im crying about though. Me being a hormonal imbalanced typical teenage girl tutting, sighing and with uncontrollable moodswings; regularly. I hate how my parents and family don’t understand why I am the way I am. I can’t help but to be growing can I? Can you hear that? Mum screaming at me to run in the shower. Dad screaming even more saying how I'm wasting his electricity by leaving the boiler on. Is money all they bloody care bout? (Heavily crying)
I don’t mean to cry. That’s just the way I am I guess. It’s as if my body wasn’t built to control tears. Maybe that’s one thing God should’ve included in the human package; immunity to pain. Why does being so young and naive have to hurt? I mean, I just can’t help but to fall in love. I want him back. My parents aren’t making things any easier for me either by nagging me. They won’t ever understand. Or is it just that they enjoy inflicting all this pain on me? They like to see me suffer? They use GCSE exams and revision to suffocate me in fact… as in a form of punishment? Does HE want to see me suffer too? Does he know I still love him and that he loves someone else now? That bitch. Claire. Her name. I mean so what if she's the prettiest thing in school... green eyes... long glamorous hair... a smile that makes your heart melt. He felt that way about me too once. DIDN'T HE?(Hyperventilates). But that's it... I'm gonna take a stand... Againt my family... my teachers... her.
(She takes out a picture of him and his current girlfriend; Claire, that she had stolen from his backpack earlier on today. The rips the photograph into two separating him and Claire. She sticks a picture of herself onto the other end with him whilst smearing Claire's picture with her own blood.)
It's true what they say I guess. Love hurts
Hi Sugadust.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting. This piece still feels very sincere and emotional to me. It stands up well to a second reading, which is a very good sign. I think your monologue has plenty of potential, and I hope that you're pleased with what you've achieved.
I think the new ending works a lot better. However, I'm left wondering where the blood has come from. We don't see the narrator hurting herself, so the blood just seems to arrive from nowhere.
I also like the fact that you've named the ex-boyfriend's new girl. It's a nice, concrete detail. I do think that perhaps we need a little more about the guy, though. Perhaps you could add some remembered details about the way he speaks, the way he looks and so on.
Anyway, thanks again for sharing your work.
Helen
I agree. I think this is SO much better, and virtually flawless. Well done - you really should be fantastically proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am just left wondering about the provenance of the blood though too... :)
Thank you both for ur comments and time :D
ReplyDelete